Hi,

I am new to the group and came across it in looking for support to get over a relationship. I have been in a relationship (not married) with a man 3yrs younger than me for 16years and we have a child together his only child and mine too. He has cheated on me so many times I have lost count. But this time I caught him I felt it was for good becaue I knew the girl and knows she does not want a onenight stand. He told her he and I had broken up. It hurt me so much because while our relationship within the last few years have been distant we stayed and hoped that we would work out the issues. With this girl he admitted he liked her and in the past he never admitted to the others. I was so angry I chased the girl out of his apartment and he was not pleased about that he actually was trying to go behind he and I stoped him. I felt stupid because I stayed all these years and he has now up and left. He blamed me saying that I dont care about him, I dont know if he is dead or alive. Thinking about it I knew some of it was true but he turned me into that person after he has cheated so many times over the years. There were times I would not hear from him for days and he would give me all sorts of excuses. In the early years I literally ran behind this man for time and attendtion. I felt like I became his doormat he stepped on and off when he felt like it.  And oneday I just stop paying attention and look what he did. 

But I dont know why I feel this way. And to be honest it's been 3 weeks since the incident and he has called 2 twice to check on our child and has not mentioned the situation. But I still love him and hope and pray every night that this relationship does not work out and he would come back. 

Am I stupid for hoping like that? I cant sleep I only think about him being with this woman. How to I get pass this hurt? Is he really gone?