Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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So heartbroken...

TheOddAlien
TheOddAlien

I'm honestly at the point where I don't care anymore about life. I don't care if I die in my sleep or if I get hit by a car. I just don't want to feel heartbreak anymore.


After my pet dying and a very difficult week at work, I just found out 3 weeks ago that my whole relationship was a lie. I don't understand why someone would go through all the trouble of having a serious relationship if it was all a lie. He manipulated me the entire time. He broke up with me out of nowhere by showing up at my house with the stuff that I kept at his house in his car. I never saw it coming because everything was so perfect. He would always tell me how much he appreciated me and everything I have done for him. We never fought. We had busy schedules, but we always dedicated time to each other. Even when he was breaking up with me, he said it was the best relationship he has had and that I am such a beautiful soul.....THEN WHY DID HE DO THAT TO ME? Why would he take this so far if his feelings were a lie? I feel like an idiot and so worthless. I gave everything to this guy and this is what happens... I know we weren't married, but it still hurts so bad that the person you thought you could trust and you have treated with nothing but love and kindness could just toss you away. I feel like I can't trust anyone or even my own judgment.


I thought I would be okay, but I'm not. I still can't process what happened. I do have anxiety and depression. We would lean on each other for support and he said he would always be there for me. Now he is gone. This has added onto my stress and I feel like my sanity is going out the window. I feel so betrayed.


My parents had a terrible marriage. My father abused and cheated on my mom for years. My father turned out to be crazy and a manipulative jerk. My parents' divorce lasted over 5 years. I always thought that relationships and marriages would be horrible. I never wanted to end up like that. The fact that I was so easily manipulated by a person scares me. Why do people do this?

Minidogs2
Minidogs2
that is a lot to process. Take care of yourself and let yourself grieve. Betrayal is terrible since you also question your judgment as you said. I know well what that feels like. If you stay stuck, see a good therapist to help you. Prayer, therapy, medication, family and new friends are helping me go forward.
TheOddAlien
TheOddAlien
I already have a therapist for my anxiety. I saw her the week before all this happened. My next appointment isn't until next week. My family and friends were completely shocked that this happened. Even my therapist thought we had a healthy relationship. I'm mad at myself for letting this happen to me. I feel like I'm a burden if I talk to my friends about my problems. I feel so alone.
Ugginz
Ugginz
Ouch! Yes my Doxie dog died Xmas, the wife waited until January to drop the bombshell and I was destroyed.... All in a few weeks, I lost my wife, family, job, car and house....
It was hell but I survived.......
First off, talk talk talk and yes you may become a scratched record to family, but they will help you so much. Everything is a perception and it takes time to seperate raw emotion from your daily life.
Other people will shock you when they now let you know their stories and you can start to distance yourself from the drowning victim you are...... Treat those bad feelings as a monster attacking you and you can fight back against all that negativity.

Eat as well as you can - sod it... go out with friends or family and have a meal. The best way you can fight betrayal, is to stop it eating at you.... don't be the victim, be the winner and really pee the sod off! You are too good for him and you can prove it to yourself. x
CrushedDad
CrushedDad
Please hang in there. Take care of yourself! You are not to blame. There's something seriously wrong with that SOB for doing this to you. I too am dealing with everything by prayer, meds, friends, family, books and this site. Sometimes I think that we'll never have the answers. All we can do is try to channel the pain into healthy growth for ourselves while our former partners rot in hell. Sorry, but that thought crosses my mind sometimes. God bless you. HUGS
TheOddAlien
TheOddAlien
Thank you for your support, guys. It's been so hard adjusting to life. It's been an emotional roller coaster. I'm mad, then sad. Then when I think I'm doing ok, I go back to being sad. Since my mom has been through a terrible marriage, she has been giving me advice. My mom says it will hurt for a while, but I just want it to end already. I always have to fight tears when I'm at work or out somewhere. I just want the pain to go away.
FakeUp
FakeUp
Yes- I see your pain and suffering, and I understand it. I'm there too. I think it helps to know that you are not alone, not even close to being alone, in going through the things that you are feeling now. Right now I am feeling exactly as you are- not caring about anything at all and not knowing what I should do about that. I bet there are major things you regret, things you still can't find a way to tell others about, even now. I'm just going to try to let that stuff flow out of me, let the pain wash through, and know that feeling sad isn't wrong or bad. It's a necessary physical and emotional step to getting past things. I also want the pain to go away, but I'm trying to remember that feeling the pain now is the only way to make it go away. So, pain equals progress.
TheOddAlien
TheOddAlien
It does help knowing I'm not alone. This group does provide comfort. While going through the posts, people have given great advice. It is just easier said than done. I feel like I have questions that my ex needs to answer about this entire situation. I think those answers would me move on, but people have warned me that those answers might make me more depressed and create more questions. Should I even bother? Does anyone have any advice with this?
1Daatatime
1Daatatime
I am in the same place as you. I had a great marriage. No fighting. A day never went by that we didn't say "I love you". Then out of the blue last week she said she loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore and left.
SassyGrace
SassyGrace
Idaatatime, it wasn't out of the blue for her. She's been thinking about for awhile. Possibly a long while.

My marriage wasn't working. However what I resent the most and trying to let go of is the sneaky way it ended.

I was led to believe we were working things out in counseling and the entire time he had a back up plan with another woman.

Adults should just be honest and I always was about where I stood.

She can have him. If she wants a sneaky liar who conducts his relationships like that, he's all hers.

For all the emotional and financial upheaval they caused me, I'm glad he's gone now.
TheOddAlien
TheOddAlien
The sad thing is we may think everything is perfect and great, but our partners were planning it for a while. Mine told me he was thinking about it for 2 weeks and didn't even think of warning me or talking it out. It irritates me that I was just taking care of this guy while he was sick and then when he feels all better he breaks up with me.

Unfortunately, there are people that choose to be sneaky. These people are the reason why so many people have trust issues.