Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So i'm new here... not sure what brought me here. I read a few posts and it seems to pull me in. I have had 1 true love in my entire life. We have had some hard times... and good times... but it has also been pete n liz no matter what. we have been together for 19 yrs... and i raised 2 sons that were not mine.... but became mine... and have a steo daughter that was nearly grown when we met. A few years ago my wife had an indescression... virtual affair. it was so nightmarish... the anguish and betrayal i felt. We survived that... and began to thrive... until i got sick. on my deathbed twice in 3 months.... and months of recovery. She says this is when i began to emotional seperate. she suffers from depression... and is pretty manic with mountains of anxiety. During my recovery... our oldest son got hooked on heroin... another nightmare... pure agony. thank goodness he is jail. better there than on the streets. so i know it strained our relationship even more... but i always figured it was pete n liz.... we can take it. we live in nashville... her father and sister and cousins live in washighton state... plus all of her old friends growing up. i knew things had been hard on her... and for the last several months i have worked on be more intimate... but i guess i wasnt listening enough. She lost a job because of a co-worker problem... and decided to take a 5 week trip to see her family and her friends. i thought this might be good for her... help with the depression. 2 weeks in she sleeps with an old friend from school... and i find out. i confront her over the phone... and really yelled at her... said things i have never said to her. we talk later and i apologize... but every word i said is being turned into the rule of law appearently. the things i said were stictly a knee jerk reaction. i was hurt and ugly words if all i could think of. she hung up on me... and as we cooled down we talked later that day. she told me she loves me.. and we will talk more over the coming days. yesterday morning we are talking... and i let her know i could forgive her for anything...period... anything. but when she comes home we would need to get some real help. she said she was willing to do that to save us... and again that she loved me. later last night i found out she was planning on leaving me now. i asked what changed... and said she'd talked to an old friend who helped see that she should move. After that we got in some pretty deep hearted discussions on how we can't communicate.... how we never fight... which sometime a fight might be healthy. we even ended the talk with a few giggles. today cold as ice... across the county being infuenced by peole that have never met me of know how much i love her. she is gone for 15 more days... and i am so lost... can't eat... can't stop shaking. no sleep. I feel like i cant compete with a bunch of people up there trying to drag her away. i asked her to scome home early so we can talk face to face... eyes to eyes... but no response yet. last night she told me she loved me... today cold as ice. i know i have to prepare to get moving on without her... but i just dont want to. i want to grow old and die with her... just not sure i will get a fair chance at that. sorry for the long winded 1st post.... but i just had to get some of it out. thanks for having me here
Like I already wrote in my own post, I did screw up and had a conversation I should not have over texts. I'd like to think that's not the kind of man I am, but I did it anyway. So I'm not exactly one to call out others for their misgivings. I certainly can't comprehend moving on from such a long time dedicated to someone else, building a life together and then have it fall apart.
It's all the cliche stuff everyone tells us though. It's going to be okay. We have to get back to defining ourselves. And there are always people, no matter what stage of life we are in, dealing with the same issues. They too have to move on, they do have to let this form a part of who they are and learn from it.
Our situations aren't the same, but heartache is heartache. We both have to ride this out. And I truly believe, as painful as it is, things are going to be fine. You just have to make that effort. Every day. Every moment. Go see a professional if you have to. Take care of yourself, even when you don't feel like it. You have to feel those feelings sometime, but you can't let it consume you.
I'm so sorry, but I'm rooting for you, man.