Good for you! I know my current therapist has been a Godsend in helping me to take care of myself. It seems I always wanted to fix or take care of everyone. I know now that doesn't help me or them.
Hugs.
Marie

Kudos to you for making the decision to take care of you! You might be surprised to find that therapy is not so much about "fixing" yourself, but more about taking care of yourself. I spent most of my Marriage thinking I was broken and needed fixing. The ex fed that belief by always saying he was ok just the way he was. (of course now i know that's what one would expect from a narcissistic alcoholic, lol).

My therapist helped me see therapy was about my healing and learning to love & take care of myself. And that is my wish for you!

~healing hugs~

I am sooo glad that you have decided to take care of you. Believe me, I know, that you would rather be working on your marriage but there comes a time when you have to decide that you emotional health is more important. Sad as it is, it is sucking all of your energy up. Been there, ... Until I finally decided enough is enough. Thoughts & prayers, ... There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have so much respect for your decision. My appointment is for the 13th and is for the marriage. I am certain she will stonewall and even end the marriage instead of investing any effort to work on it. So I am anxious to have this meeting to meet my future therapist for myself.

May you find more reward than you ever expected. May we all. We deserve it.

Mariecamp ,I'm really excited about this mainly because it's for me this time. MTC, I can't help but think I'm broken and need fixing . I can't keep my marriage together I'm always at fault for all of problems So to do this for me to help find myself again is going to be a good thing.
Thiscantbe, you're very right I would rather work on my marriage and am beyond exhausted from this emotionally. No matter what I can't do anybody any good if I'm a mess..especially for me. And idontmake... I was reading you recent Journal entry. I'm so sorry. I truly know what you're going through. I've been to many therapists over the years for my marriage but unfortunately for me every time she wasn't getting her way she quit every one. Saying they were siding with me . Even if she picked the therapist. I truly pray for yor appt on the 13th to go in a positive direction. But I wish I'd would have taken my own advice I'm about to give you along time ago.
There's no reason you can't go to a therapist just for your self now. One bit of advice though, use your marriage counslor for your marriage but if you seek counceling for yourself try to seporate the two. Use your therapist for your own personal healing. Its what I'm desperately going to do.

I know, tjfamf. I felt the same exact way. Therapy will help you get past that and know that you did everything you could do and probably then some. But if the other person isn't willing to put forth the effort, there's nothing we can do.

That was excellent advice you gave about finding a therapist other than the one you use for marriage counseling. That is critical. Therapists are only human and when we go to individual counseling, its important to do that with someone who hasn't already formed conclusions about both parties.

One other bit of advice. Give the therapist a chance. It takes a while to build a trusting rapport. BUT, if, after a while, you don't feel you're making progress, then it may be time to change therapists.

tjfamf, please read this next sentence over and over until you believe it. You are NOT the reason your marriage failed.

It always takes two and when one refuses, there really isn't anything you can do about it, especially when it comes to taking the blame. You're not perfect, but neither is she and she is just as responsible - actually, I'd say she's even more responsible because it doesn't sound like she's made any effort to make it work.