I'm so sorry you're going through this, my kids are on spring break this week with my ex and her new boyfriend so I don't get to see them as well. She too threw away our relationship easily and doesn't seem to care about how it hurts me or our boys.

I don't have it as bad as you as I get to see them on 1/2 the holidays and for about an hour every day after work.

I don't look her in the eye either, just give her a semi-robotic spiel about how their day was, what time they ate, anything medical and leave.

She's plunged them headlong into her new relationship without a care for how they're taking it. When I see them they really clingy and I just about get them calmed down for some quality time when I have to drop them off. I would love to take these spring days and go throw a football, grill some burgers and then hang out and make some s'mores. The thing I really miss the most is them piling into bed with me just to be close.

I'm so sorry for the situation you're in and how you feel. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Hmm, new boyfriend in the picture with YOUR kids, how are you handling that? I would probably get MORE back and neck pains having to go through that.

I just want this feeling of betrayal, anger and loneliness to leave me alone, I pray to god to help me find happiness and sometimes I feel a little better, but it all comes crashing back when I see stuff, like a happy couple with their kids or a simple whatsapp photo of my ex. It sucks right now....bleh

I'm not handling it well at all. He's got the full court press on the win them over with trips, going out to eat and buying them gifts. Makes me so jealous it hurts.

Still have the rejection, betrayal, anger and loneliness you're experiencing. Some days are good some are bad (some are still horrible for me).

Since you said the phrase "natural right of custody" I'm assuming you were unwed when she had your son? Is your name on the birth certificate?

Yes my name is on the birth certificate, I'm kind of thinking about family court but don't want to go through with it because of the added stress.

Hope by the grace of God that its a phase and eventually I'd get to be with my son even more, possibly full control.

Another thing is I haven't told my colleagues about our separation, they still believe my ex and I are together. I'm sort of ashamed of my failed relationships because it seems that they have their lives with their families all together. So I avoid them and talking about it, its like I'm living two lives :-(

I just want to be happy again and I want peace of mind.

I would start out by saying it's better to tell your co-workers. It's scary! I was ashamed and embarrassed that I had a failed message and I didn't tell anyone for 6 months. Keeping it bottled up is not the right way to go about things. I haven't told everyone, but I have told enough people that I trust that I can ask them to let me vent from time to time. IT HELPS.

On the other issue, since your name is on the birth certificate you're recognized as the child's legal father and have some standing in court.

You have to ask yourself if a little stress in the short term will outweigh being able to see your son more in the long term. From what you've mentioned in previous posts I'm pretty sure what your answer will be.

Stay strong! If you ever need someone to talk to just let me know.

Don't have much friends, only one guy knows. But telling my co-workers, the bunch of guys here.......hmm, they'll probably criticize and laugh and make a joke out of it.

The reason I'm not forcing going to court is I had my son from last Friday evening till this morning and eventually would hope to get more time. If I have to go to court in the future I'd have more stuff to show to gain more access.

Seems you got your stuff under control. How are you doing these days?

Today I'm keeping it under control pretty well. I had a couple of REALLY rough days last week.

I get to see my kids finally after the long spring break which is awesome. I've missed them so much, it feels like a part of me is gone when I can't hang out with them.

I also will probably get to hear how awesome the new boyfriend is, how cool their vacation was, how he bought them all of these new toys, and see my ex which are all bad news for me. As the time nears where I'll have to take them to her house I'll probably start to feel horrible.

I've been trying to do a lot of stuff to put me 1st in the last couple of weeks like working out, eating healthy, quitting nicotine, getting dental work done and learning the guitar. (I don't even notice quitting nicotine with how jumbled my brain is.)

So far those are all having positive changes in my life. Others are noticing as well, I had several women go out of their way to flirt with me and a couple of women stopped me on the street to start up a conversation. I'm in no way ready to act on that yet but it shows me that I'm moving in the right direction and that how I've been feeling about my self-worth internally isn't exactly true.

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As for the criticism at work, I'd tell them anyways. I got a few of those initially and now they're the ones I can go to on the really bad days. I think it stems from the 'never show weakness' mentality guys are supposed to learn from a young age.

If you don't have a lot of people to talk to I'd recommend a counselor. Just being able to speak your feelings openly and out loud can take a lot of stress off.

I'm not sure if you're a Christian but if you are go talk to your pastor. They'll be another good sounding board and can probably let you know others in your church that have gone through similar and come out the other side.

There's a guy in shipping/receiving that I don't know from Adam that lets me vent to him if I'm having a bad day.

It doesn't have to be guys either. There are a couple of ladies at work that will lend a sympathetic ear.

The point I'm trying to make is talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. Don't bottle it up inside. Don't try and be strong on your own. Get it out there even if it's just asking somebody to let you vent and not try to fix things.

Venting in a healthy way is good, I found people
understand way More than you would Think. Some
Of my best supporters were my co workers.

You don't want to burden people so the wisdom
Of coming on here. Also going to a therapist Is also
Healthy for many reasons. We need to heal and work
On ourselves so we can move forward.

Grieving is a big Part of this whole process. Its an
emotional rollercoaster And it takes time to work
thru all the feelings and Emotions. Join a breakup
Group, divorce care group or rebuilding.org HUGS