Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Sick to my stomach

diemjs
diemjs
The stbx called tonight to talk to the kids. This is the once in a month phone call to prove he cares. He sees them everyother weekend, but once in a while, out of the blue, he calls them to say hi.

This makes me sick to my stomach. Oh, I think its wonderful he wants to let them know he cares, but who is he kidding? I know he loves them but Father of the Year he is NOT!

I know this man like no other, and he is just an ass. When we were together, he didnt want to do ONE thing with us as a family, except church. He was always too busy, or too tired. He would always compare his job to what I did everyday. (I was a stay-at-home-mom, with 2 kdis, and he worked way harder than I did, and told me so all the time.) Now, he wants to make sure he is "known". Why does this bother me so?

I just wish...he would fall off the face of the earth!

Sorry, had to vent.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Vent away sister... I know how you feel.

It still bugs me a little too when my ex swoops in and does nice, VERY NOTICABLE things. It bugs me because he's never up for the not-so-noticable nice things... the things that really matter... the hard work and determination.

Oh well, that's why my kids have me. :)
veeachjay
veeachjay
I don't think this is going to be the last time, unfortunately, that you're going to be sick to your stomach over something he has said or done. I wish it didn't bother you so much, but I certainly understand why you feel that way. Hang in there and just keep being Mother of the Year :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh diemjs...your kids are too young to really get the whole picture yet....I know it gets on your last nerve, but when they get older they will understand. Right now you just have to suck it up...sad but true....you can't MAKE him change! (Obviously!) Maybe just mention that he should call his kids more if you haven't already. I'm so sorry...I WISH I had more advice for you. I kids with my stbx...and never have had to deal with my daughter's father in over 10 years. But yes, it would be fucking irritating. I get irritated that everyone thinks mine is a the nice guy...when clearly he's an ass as well. Stay strong girl...
deleted_user
deleted_user
He only needs to stroke his ego once a month???? WOW! A fucktard with a conscience- how sweet!!!! Of course, he probably resents you for all the times you were sitting on the couch in your lingerie eating bon-bons while he was slaving away.
diemjs
diemjs
Dont forget watching soaps and Dr Phil, joan! I did that every day while he slaved away at not making any money:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was also a stay at home mom of two kids. Along with this I did foster care and respite care for kids with disabilities to help bring in some extra income and also worked outside of the home between 16-24 hours every two weeks.

To this day he puts me down and bitches about how he had to take care of me all of these years! WTF??? I have been working since I can remember and practically working full-time since the age of 16. I never went without a job and often times had 2 or 3 jobs.

Being a home maker is a huge job and we should never let anyone put us down for doing so.