Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My stbx and I saw each other yesterday to settle financial matters, after that he suggested to have lunch. We did, it was fine then towards the end when we parted he just hugged me and said if I need anything to just let him know even after we get our divorce. I sat in my car and cried then left.
He wants this divorce, I have tried to get us to remain but no dice. So the thing is, I feel low today, and I am sitting here tempted to text him and just simply say "thinking of you". It wont make a difference if I text this in fact it may annoy him. I am trying to be a "big girl" about this divorce. We both know we weren't happy so I am trying to avoid running back and saying anything like "Lets just work it out" "we can learn to love each other".
So the question is, should I text him or just carry the "thinking of him" with me? Would a realistic person just buck up and get on with their life or crumble and say I am thinking of you?
I am making a big deal about this because 3 weeks ago when I left I made it point to myself that I was not going to resort to useless begging anymore. He wanted me out so I left, he wants this divorce so I am going to let him have it. A person just gets so exhausted of begging. That's why I feel if I text him what I am thinking, it may just set me back from what I have tried to accomplish which is just letting him go and freeing myself.
thoughts?
He wants this divorce, I have tried to get us to remain but no dice. So the thing is, I feel low today, and I am sitting here tempted to text him and just simply say "thinking of you". It wont make a difference if I text this in fact it may annoy him. I am trying to be a "big girl" about this divorce. We both know we weren't happy so I am trying to avoid running back and saying anything like "Lets just work it out" "we can learn to love each other".
So the question is, should I text him or just carry the "thinking of him" with me? Would a realistic person just buck up and get on with their life or crumble and say I am thinking of you?
I am making a big deal about this because 3 weeks ago when I left I made it point to myself that I was not going to resort to useless begging anymore. He wanted me out so I left, he wants this divorce so I am going to let him have it. A person just gets so exhausted of begging. That's why I feel if I text him what I am thinking, it may just set me back from what I have tried to accomplish which is just letting him go and freeing myself.
thoughts?
The TTMI back in the day, had to give her cell to her friend at work so she could force herself to go NC.
I always say, if you feel it, SAY it. But, it IS a weird dynamic when it's a divorce situation...the emotion is too raw, and I think every little word is maginified 100 percent.
No matter how he'd respond, it would probably hurt.
You did awesome in reaching out/pausing your actions.
Hang in there
I feel trapped have no love or support from him and I have the threats that if I start with lawyers he will see to it that I lose my daughter and the house. I haven't worked in 4 years (disability) have had a heart issue and had to have a pace maker and defibrillator put in and health issues have been somewhat of a struggle.
I feel trapped in this loveless marriage and he used to be a big hugger and won't even touch me! Its like he hates the thought of touching me at all. He was NEVER ever like this before.
So having said all that I can relate to how bad you want this to work, but like my girlfriend told me the other day. If it isn't there for him, it isn't there for him.
You need someone in your life who is going to make you feel fabulous about yourself. Get the giddyness back from someone who makes you feel like they can't wait to see you and hold you, and offer as much support to you as you need.
Begging for anything is a sign its not a good place to be.
Let him go, because trying to keep him is keeping you from a potential wonderful man who may not approach you because you are still attached. Be on your own, and you will find that it really isn't that bad. You can take control of your own life!
Later you can look for the man that puts his investment in you as much a you put your investment in to him.
I know I am tired of this always being a one sided effort. Good for you for going through with the divorce and hang in there. I promise there is someone out there that will be "way more into you" you deserve that!
I wish you luck and love.
Sandy
You have a loving heart, God bless you. I'm sorry you find yourself in that situation. If it were, I'd want to reach out too, but I've learned that doing that usually hurts more... like you said "set me back."
The most painful love, is the love which lets go. :(
just my opinion.