Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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sunshinesmile88 05/22/2018

I haven't used anything like this before but I am at rock bottom.

My husband and I are at a point in our relationship where we are contemplating a trial separation. He has had two episodes over the past 8 months where he has told me he cannot see a future and maybe we'd be happy with other people. I have been distraught, spent time with my parents, poured my heart out on both occasions and he simply hasn't told anyone. Not his parents, his best friend NO ONE.

My family know we are thinking of separating and they couldn't have been more supportive of whatever we decide. I just can't help thinking that if we can find a way through, my family will never look at him the same way. I have been trying so hard to keep this marriage going but I just don't know if I am burying my head in the sand. Would my life be happier without him?

I have a big birthday next week and I should be excited for that however now all I feel is dread. Dread about our families spending time together. Dread that I have to play happy families. Dread that I might not enjoy it the way I deserve to....

What should I do?! Help.... anyone :(

Unbearablepain 05/22/2018

I am in a very similar situation where my wife of 11 years is checked out and ready to ask fir a divorce. This came out of nowhere for me, so I was in total shock and panic. One month later and we are talking about me leaving the house for a while to see if that helps her. It's basically my last resort and is not what I want to do but staying in the house is making it worse for her. Regarding the birthday party, you may just have to put on your fake smile and roll with the punches. I've had to do that with our 11yo daughter and it kills me. I'm hanging on to all hope that leaving the house will be enough for her to see we can fix our problems and make things better. I've read some saving marriage articles that have really helped me focus on what to do and what not to do as well as how to act...many of which I was doing wrong at the beginning. Hope this helps a little bit. Best of luck to you!

veggiequeen 05/23/2018

You need to stop worrying about him and concentrate on you. The fact that he brings this up every so often, but tells noone suggests maybe he is depressed and unclear what he wants. (Or he is afraid what others say if they knew of his requests?)

Turning to your parents when going through a rough time is normal. We all need someone to turn to. (Do not concern yourself with how they will see him....they will try to be fair)

You should CELEBRATE that milestone bday. Don't let him put a damper on that .Enjoy yourself...your day and your time with both families and friends. If he wants to sulk or be miserable, that is on him.
Happy 30th!

Osheana 05/23/2018

Enjoy your day as much as you can and also maybe counseling marriage
counseling if you have not as yet to unearth any deep rooted issues?The
birthday event may be a blessing in disguise as it can allow for everyone to
let their guards down a little and unwind and may invoke some family
intervention-just let your pure love guide you on this day-

Poe1975 05/23/2018

In so many words hes telling u he's ready to end it but hes trying to do it in a nice way.

animbella2 05/24/2018

what do YOU want to do?

Msteele4555 05/24/2018

He is telling you to end it, and it is not so nice. He does not have the courage to act like a mature adult.
I would like to know something from you: Are you an adult? Do you think you deserve better? Then dammit, stop it. Stop allowing yourself to be treated this way. Celebrate your birthday and dump him. Find yourself, then find someone who deserves a relationship with a mature, rationale, sane, sexy woman. He does not deserve you.

growthhurts 05/24/2018

I'm sorry you are going through this. I agree with everything @veggiequeen has said! It's great to hear your family is so supportive and yes, don't worry about how they will see him. Your relationship is between you and him. Have you discussed going to counseling? Has he gone to individual counseling? What has happened between your wedding and "...can't see a future...?" Separation and divorce is very difficult, speaking from experience but you can't make anyone do what they don't want to do. Who will leave your home if you do agree on a trial separation? I don't think you are burying your head in the sand, but you must be distraught at him telling you these things.

Celebrate you birthday. You deserve it. Best wishes.

LostAndy 05/24/2018

Well, he could be having an affair. Unfortunately, the cheater never comes clean in the beginning. This leaves you with mistaken hope. My advice, plan yourself emotionally for a divorce. This is all you can do that you are in control of.

Remember, when they crawl into bed and have sex with another person that are not thinking about you. It is done.

Rally your friends and family; start considering other partners; focus on your happiness, not the "us" happiness; think about what makes you happy and start doing that; focus on the short turn, give up long term together plans; have work or a job.

These will help you to recover fast should he be unfaithful and pursuing divorce to be with someone new. Which is what he is most likely doing. Right now, preventing YOU from slipping into depression should be your number one goal.

You have no control over his mind. He can hurt you badly and not care at all because he is in love with and wants to be with another woman, an ugly truth.

LostAndy 05/24/2018

And let me further warn you divorce will hurt. So take advice about preparing yourself very seriously. The sooner you start the better prepared you will be. Heed my warning.

I know you don't want to believe the worst. Neither did I. It is so hard to accept that someone you trusted so much can betray your trust. But, they do when they are in love with and want to be with someone else.

Get moving now. Trust me. It happened to me. It hurts, but will hurt less the more prepared you are beforehand. And then you get to see their in love with someone else face.

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