If you plan on leaving him, you need to make a written plan and get yourself ready. Escaping to another man first will not solve your problems. It is just trading one problem man for another. You have to be happy with yourself and fix your own problems first. Your name says you are a mom to a boy so remember that if this boy is under age 18, there will be custody to arrange. I suggest going to a good divorce attorney and getting legal advice before you make any decisions. If you guys have debt, that debt is still owed by both spouses even after the divorce in my state. If you walk out and leave the kid, you may be court order to pay child support or may get terrible custody arrangements. If you move out and take the child, how will you pay the bills.

You will need a job to support you and the boy. If he is grown, you need to find a job now and start being employed. Start putting some of your salary into a single bank account, not the joint account with husband. Save up money. Because you will then be responsible for your car payment, your insurance payment, all bills, all medical bills, etc. If your husband is grumpy and critical you can talk to him about what exactly he expects from you. Maybe he would like some things done differently or maybe he is just a jerk, a cruel man, etc. Another man isn't going to solve your problems.

You can work on you and how you react to the husband. Not saying his constant criticism is right, just saying we often react in ways that are not good for our own emotional wellness. Does he get drunk and then get verbally abusive? Or is he just grumpy all the time and maybe he is tired of you also? Maybe he knows you expect him to make you happy and he also knows he isn't able to do that for all of the time. Marriage involves conflict, that is normal. No marriage is happy 100% of the time.

No other human being can make you truly happy. This is a myth. You have to get strong and wise enough to make yourself happy inside of yourself. This is why I think finding another man is immature thinking and bound to fail. No human has the power to always make another human being happy. I wish you the best.

Well I was in your shoes years ago as a stay at home mom. My plan was never about finding another person though. But i just was not happy. It was a slow process because I had to get a job and save and through that period I was working on my
Marriage. But nothing really changed so did eventually leave. It’s a choice you have to make no one can say you should leave based on a post. You need to put deep thought into it. There has to be a plan as to how you will leave and pay everything. I left with three kids. It’s been years now tho.

I would not suggest you stay in an unhappy marriage, but would suggest you do some work to confirm its irretrievably broken. Spend a few days listening, not talking, Seven Habits of Effective People, first try to understand than be understood. Maybe he has a legitimate grievance or more likely is genuinely unhappy.

Then evaluate what he said, consider counseling and if need be look to divorce.

And if you do decide on divorce, approach the lawyers with a fair amount of skepticism. Each lawyer tells his client he/she is right and the only problem is they have been an enabler, trying to accommodate their spouse's aberrant behavior. Each lawyer provides an unrealistic figure, blames the other lawyer, and after a lot of the assets have been drained, then the matter settles.

So instead if divorce is needed, consider mediation, or working to minimize discord, something that can be obviously difficult because if you're a woman friends will tell you about the first wife who shops at Goodwill for herself and family while her husband buys the new wife things at Nieman & Marcus and if a man, expect stories about men working 3 jobs and paying 60% of their salary for support because their lawyer was too weak, and they failed to scrutinize the agreement.

The one things lawyers are afraid of, is being called that vile 4 letter word that law firm partners may use before they get rid of associates or client use before they fire their lawyer to get a new one- the four word is nice.

Could you share with us more about what's going on in your life and your marriage?

How long married? How old is your child? How long have you been unhappy?

With more details, we could help you better.

I would try talking to your own therapist first. A therapist can help you to figure out how to be happy, with or without a husband, and also help you to figure out what it is you really want for your life, and what would be best for you and your child.

Being a stay at home mom is not just a singular task. It's a life.

You can add going to school to learn new skills, working a part-time job for you as an individual, and pick up a hobby/activity to help you figure out who you are as a person.

Being in a committed relationship that is also a business (and a marriage is a business, with financial, legal, and professional relations) means learning how to set your personal and professional boundaries with the business partner and marriage partner.

Separate the emotional impact from the business to sort out how you want to improve your situation in a positive direction.

I’m so sorry you are feeling so down about your relationship right now. Have you asked your husband if he is unhappy too? Maybe the both of you could try some counseling, together and independently. I always say exhaust all resources into getting your marriage to work before thinking about fleeing. Obviously he shouldn’t be disrespectful to you All marriages go through highs and lows at some point and maybe this is your low point and you could both turn it around with some work and you may be pleasantly surprised to find yourselves happy again. Also try reading the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Hope things turn around for you quickly.

Thank you everybody for your advice. I’m feeling better today. I did talk to my husband and he did say he’s going to try harder and I believe he took me serious when I told him I was thinking of leaving if he didn’t start treating me better.

Good for you boymom1987! Now be sure you are also giving him praise when he does something right or nicely. I have a grumpy husband myself. We just had the "talk nice to me" conversation. He is very critical and grumpy at times and then really fun and pleasant other times. I try to not take it personally because I know it is not about me. But still... be nice to your spouse goes a long way.