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Should I hire a private Investigator

Sandr58
Sandr58
How can you tell if your husband is having an affair? HE spends Satuday nights out very late & sometimes don't even come home.
Should i hire a private investigator?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'd say you have your answer. Men usually don't go out and stay out until the next day. There is a lack of respect in your marriage.

You can hire an investigator to prove what you already know but what would that mean for you? Would you seek counseling for the two of you? Would you go straight to divorce?

I'm truly sorry you find yourself in this position and wish you only the best.
deleted_user
deleted_user
PI's can be expensive.

I would say it depends on the state you live in, and if you plan on divorcing. CA, for example, is a 50/50 state. So, even if he is cheating, hiring a PI will buy you nothing.

WA on the other hand WILL change the distribution of property based on infidelity. So, while it is a state that recognizes one sided irreconcilable differences, you can heavily influence the division of property if the divorce goes to court if you have proof of wrong doing.

My divorce attorney had me get a PI. Had my divorce gone to court, we had enough to make sure things played out fairly. (ie. the ex kept making stories up about hidden assets and such...)

I would recommend that for now is that you just have a friend follow him. It could be that he is just an ass and hangs out all night w/the boys. Or, maybe he's into strip clubs... Maybe worse... But, before you get the expense of a PI, do some of your own digging.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sneeky trick- (if you have access to his computer) you can download a program onto his computer that will copy everything he writes- if he sends love e-mails, you will know.This stuff is available online (scary). However, if he is faithful and finds out, there will be no rebuilding trust option left for you.
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
Broken is right--it depends on the state you live in. I live in Ohio, had loads of evidence of an affair, but it did absolutely nothing for my settlement. He could have been screwing right in front of the judge. I don't even understand why Ohio lists adultery as grounds. Might as well be a no fault state.

You can find a lot of info yourself. Have a friend follow him, check his cell phone after he goes to bed, check emails, etc.

You've got your biggest clue right now. If he is staying out late and not coming home that is a HUGE RED FLAG.

PI's are expensive, and not all are reputable. Look online for other alternatives--GPS trackers, etc.

Bottom line, your gut is telling your answer. Listen to your gut.

I'm sorry.