I'm not a frequent poster here. I tend to internalize my thoughts and feelings or I reach out to the 2 friends I have that will listen. I'm coming here today to basically let loose and ask advice. If there's a way to see my past post, please feel free to do so to get better understand. If not or to save time, I'll try to make it short. My ex-girlfriend....met in 2006 and had a wonderful yet realistic relationship. We had great times and love each other beyond end, but we were not without our faults. 2010/11 is when the issues began. We were off an on due to her "not knowing what she wanted." I've never cheated, mistreated, or harmed her. She lives our home but comes back. 2011 we have a kid which is definitely mine (she's basically a female version of me in looks). 4 months after the birth of our child, my ex decides yet again that she didn't know what she wanted or that she wasn't happy. So I moved out. I tried to limit communication as best I could with a child in the picture. I kept our daughter 10x more than she did while she gallivanted all over town with God knows who. I tried to not focus on it but then she started to call and text. I told her I couldn't be this in-between person and to leave me be if I wasn't going to be her ultimate choice. She agree all of 1 week and start calling saying she couldn't leave me alone. Started expressing interest in us again and I got my hopes up. Again left heartbroken. 2012 to now....Over the last 2 years she's lied more times to not on countless items. We've been in and out of a relationship due to her lies and unwillingness to stop talking to other guys. She's slept with more guys than I am willing to admit. I am not without my faults, I have allowed my mistrust and hurt to dictate my actions, prying into her phone and social media to catch her lies. While those have succeeded in producing the truth behind her lies, I know they were wrong. In June of 2014 I officially called it quits. I comforted her on not really loving me and not caring enough to be in our relationship with just the two of us. I knew she was talking to guys behind my back and more than likely having sex with some while our sex life was anything but existent. Prior to June 2014, the last time we had had sex was October 2013. So I called it off stating my heart could no longer withstand the pain and the lies. That without some type of true commitment on her end it would never work. She got visibly upset but understood. Like all other times we split, she began calling and texting me saying she couldn't leave me alone. Normally I would cave but this time I held my ground. I refused to text or talk about anything other than our daughter. I refused to go on "family outings" with her as we truly weren't a family anymore. I was so deeply hurt and cried nearly every night. I got depressed...still am a little. My dad even noticed a change in my attitude and behavior. I had lost the one woman that I wanted to grow old with and die. So end mid July 2014, after her July 4th b-day party that I had previously helped her mother plan, she called me one late night asking to be taken to the hospital. I was concerned and rushed to her side. Admittedly while she was off for a CT scan, I looked at her phone. I noticed that at the time she was talking to 4 different guys. I let it be....she was single and I shouldn't have checked/known anyway. a week after that she called me at work saying she needed to go back to the ER, I left work early, which was unpaid, and rushed to her. Then a few days after she acted as if I didn't exist. I had mentioned to our sitter that I was potentially moving to a new state just to get away from my 27 years of living in TN and away from all the pain and start fresh. I mentioned it to my ex, out of respect so that we could start making plans regarding our daughter and she had no objections or issues. She then proceeded to bad mouth me to our sitter, whom we've had since our daughter was 3 months, now 3 years. I tried to be civil with my ex about speaking about me and potentially moving behind my back and that she should have said something the day I told her or came to me if there was an issue. We proceeded to have a argument, that to which really cut me deep. I, like an idiot in a emotionally charged stupor, hoped on FB and made a post that didn't state her name or blast any of her business or secrets, but said enough to raise some eyebrows. She called me at midnight after that post, which was deleted and my FB deactivated since, and we talked. I cried the entire conversation. She stated that she knows I'm not that type of person, which I'm generally not, she said she's the one that "created the emotional monster" due to her behavior and lies. We get off the phone knowing there was no going back. I get a message on the next day, a Sunday, that she was in the hospital. She had tried to kill herself. Ever since then, late July, I have been talking to her and helping her cope and deal with her stresses. She constantly says it wasn't and isn't me that caused her to make that decision. We've hung out, I've gotten her to go to church, which has been a really good thing, and etc. So now we are here, the last 3 weeks we've actually hung out a lot. She's invited me out with her friends and she's stayed the night with me. She's showing me that she wants to retry us, but at a slow pace. While I'm all for it, I'm cautious and scared. I know she's still talking to other guys, which technically she can as we are still single, but she's hiding it. She recently, 10-25, admitted to receiving something and talking to one of the guys I knew she was talking to but she's hiding other information. At the same time she's stated we've made some big steps in the right direction over the last couple of weekends. I love this woman with all of my being. It's not loneliness talking, it's true passionate love. I know the statement is corny but she really does complete me. I am at optimum happiness when I'm with her. My trust issues could be settled if she would just be more open and honest about things. Should I even go there? Should I risk it all again to try and work this out? She still has my heart, always have as I can't seem to take it from her hands. But I'm nervous as to whether or not I'm being beyond foolish to try. Any advice?