Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am married for 15 months. My husband and I had been on long distance for the past 9 months due to our job. I am currently studying in Germany, his home country, and he has a job in the UK. Although, we were on long distance, we had communications everyday and vistis every 6-8 weeks. Last month, we were supposed to meet in easter holiday. But one day before he we were supposed to meet, he sent me an email that he will file for divorce and that I should not contact him anymore. After one week, I received the divorce petition. I was shocked with the allegiations. He said that I was the cause of his mental illness because of my behavior and that he wanted a quick divorce. In Germany, couples need 1 year separation before they can file for divorce but my husband's allegiations to me were so bad that it qualified for the quick divorce. He also lied on the financial terms that we have separate property but we had a notarized agreement of communal property. I agreed with the divorce because I cannot afford to hire a lawyer and also I have no resources to fight against him. I am alone now, away from family and friends who can help me fight my case, and I have to change as well my residency permit and have to cope with my anxiety due to this suddenness of the event. I am so devastated that he plotted on this divorce months before. In his petition, I found out that he had prepared the necessary documents 3 months ago while he was still letting me believe of a future with him, that when I finished my studies, I can join him in the UK and start our family together. He was saying "I love yous" and "I miss yous" before he sent me that last email.
the man has shown by his actions that he was not worth having. try not to take it personally although that is hard for you right now.
we here in this forum will help you through this as much as possible.
best wishes to you as you dust yourself off and reclaim your life. :)
You said you don't have the money to fight him on the divorce, so why stay just to study there. Get out of there.
You are the second person I have encountered on D.S. who had someone who loved them so much lure them to another country and them "dump them." The other person was left without any money to return to the U.S. I don't know if you have any money.
From now on, you and all women, even married women, should have a Plan B. It is where you have a job, a car, money put away where it is not used or given to a man and is solely for you to return home if things go wrong, and you ALWAYS have a Plan B no matter how loving that person is. The other person can get killed tomorrow crossing the street or in an auto accident or they can up and leave you and you have blocked access to money. You always want to protect yourself and set yourself up to be able to get away to your home or home country. Many prayers and hugs.
: )
You could find yourself being fined and being told you have to pay money to him, which happens in divorces due to the various charges he has placed against you. You and family do not have the ability or law experience in Germany to understand and fight against it. You could come out not only divorced, but with a lot of money you have to pay to your ex, plus a short deadline to pay it. If you don't pay it do you go to jail? If he claims fraud in marriage for some reason, you might find you are out of the country. Foreign countries do not have the freedom and much of the ability to get free help or fight back as in the U.S.
You're going to do what you want, but you have been told here and your eyes are open. You can't say you weren't warned.
A scholarship means nothing if you physically can't use it.