Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Petchison 01/26/2017

It has been a couple of months since i walked out of the house.

Couldn't take it anymore.

We tried for years to make it work. We even got married after 7 years to stay together. All the fights, the lies, the rejections, "the I don't need you in my life" really got to me. It hurt me so bad. I feel really hurt. I can't describe the pain.

I left home. Only took some clothes and left everything behind. Moved in into a cold room far from home.

Now she is contacting me. She doesn't want a divorce, that she misses me. But I know she only needs me for economic support. And that really hurts.

SBC1238 01/26/2017

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You have been through so much. If you know it is not going to work, then why even consider it. It's like being backed over by a truck 50 times, goes forward, then goes back.

STex 01/26/2017

Ugh that is a hard place to be. I left on the 6th of January and have had only 2 contacts with her. I had to do no contact or I would be a miserable wreck. Be strong, make sure what ever happens is not one sided.

Petchison 01/26/2017

I know. As much as it hurts. I told her to back off.
I know this will never work again. It just sucks that I left 10 years behind with her.

SBC1238 01/26/2017

You made the right choice. If only there was an "erase" button for the things we would have done differently.

STex 01/26/2017

erase button....Yes please!

BrighterDaysAhead 01/26/2017

Takes alot of courage to walk away. When your gut tells you to walk away, it usually is right.. You will heal, hopefully she does the same. Best of luck, you are not alone.... Follow your instincts...

Petchison 01/26/2017

Yes erase button would definitely help. But I always say, these type of situations make a person better and stronger at the end. It helps us to think and not to make the same mistakes again. And possibly help other people too.

BrighterDaysAhead 01/26/2017

You have a great attitude! That will certainly help you along the way. Rooting for you!

Alone 01/26/2017

Would you consider counseling? Sometimes helps to clear your mind. Alone or together.

Petchison 01/26/2017

Yea. We are far from fixing this. And I do try to socialize and talk to people and family. Sometimes that helps clear your mind. Because honestly you just want to be heard.

learningselfvalue 01/27/2017

I went through a similar situation, leaving the ex after 10 years. Then, she said she missed me and wanted to start dating. After a while, it felt wrong, and I told her. She initiated "farewell sex," which included her poking holes in condoms. Next thing you know, I'm tied to her for 22 years with a child, and all of her bad behaviors got worse. Instead of throwing 10 years behind me, I threw 32 years.

Where I failed is that I forgot the bad things. Then again, as a Codependent, there were also bad things that I was making excuses for, and there were other bad things that would end up in the denial bin.

If she is REALLY your ex, then it is important to remember WHY she earned that designation. It's too easy to romanticize the past. Falling into that trap could genuinely ruin your life. Best of luck.

Petchison 01/27/2017

Yes. That's where she started. She said she felt lonely and she missed me in bed. I don't know how I told her we couldn't. I told her that would make things worse. Eventhou my heart wanted it so hard to be real it wasn't.
That's why is very important to know your ex. Know the way she acts when something is not right. Know when shes genuinely happy.

It hurts so bad to let her go but I know is the right thing to do.

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