Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Maybe she wasn't trying to, but she did. My STBX called just to tell me to make sure I don't go to her house for a week in June because her boyfriend (from the opposite coast) is coming to stay that week. It really pisses me off for some reason. Even though we are divorcing, and there's no desire to even be her friend. If it wasn't for my son I would be happy never talking to her ever again. I think what bothers me the most is inviting someone my son doesn't even know into the home. I never put much thought into this reality of divorce. I don't know this guy, he could be a convicted sex offender for all I know. This has opened up a whole new set of fears for me. I've just realized there's so many things I have no control over now. Should I be angry? I don't even know how to process this. I guess if I was in her shoes I would want to warn her not to come over, too..Except I would never be in her shoes. I would be embarrassed to have anyone staying in my house before the divorce is finalized.
What is amazing about this forum is I have met people here that have been more supportive, loving and caring in the past week than my ex was for 15 years and he was the one who took vows to stay true to me.
Our exes push our buttons because they know we are decent and they manipulate that decency for their own gain. You are among people who care here, stay strong, I am behind you 100%.
Give you a hug and say i am sorry
For your pain. My ex moved in with
His gf and her two teenagers before
The divorce was final he did not like
Living at his mothers, cramped his
style And love life.
Hugs
Mirandac
She may be telling you to gauge your reaction, who knows. either way, I wouldn't react and let her know how it really effected you, if you feel you need to respond that is.
I would just ignore the text and go about my day as I would suspect she would be looking for my reaction.
If you proceed to get info from her about him, it will probably cause issue. So the best thing to do is to make sure your kid wont be around there when he is there. That when or if you find out your boy will be around this dude at any time during his stays with his mother, that you make sure to handle things legally and not try to "work out" something with her. You have every right to be worried when a new boyfriend will enter the picture. Its about protecting your kid(s) not your ego. So make sure to stick with getting the facts and being involved if it involves your son.
too bad for your son
best thing you can do, is to be his father
***barf***
You just have to trust that you've taught your kids enough about what abuse is and that you've made it such that he'll feel comfortable telling you anything.
Is there any language in your divorce paperwork that says each of you is to refrain from overnight "guests", at least until your son reaches a certain age? My boys are older, but I still wouldn't want them in that situation. My husband has entertained the idea of getting a roommate to share housing expenses with when he leaves, I said no way, and I will have my lawyer write that in, if it can be done. The best interests of the child - that should rule EVERY decision a parent makes.
My stbx's mom had her very freaky bf live with them during or just after the divorce. He and his brother were about 19, his sister was about 14, just not fair to any of the kids - any there were older than your son.