Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Spikkels 02/03/2018

Lik previously metioned my boyfriend and I were forced to break up, his parents felt like I was a bad influence because he started to stand up to them...this makes it sound like I'm a child but infact not, I'm soon to be 21 and so is he. They have always ruled his life and after our relationship started he turned to me to advice...all I can say is "in a respectul manner speak to them about how you feel". Never once did I treat them badly or with disrespect and yes at the end of the day it didn't really make a difference. They forced an end to this taking his phone, car and any source of internet. They went as far as to sending me a message sayng really bad stuff about about me, during this last week.

To be honest I have NO idea why I'm struggling this much. I think I'm starting to hit the acceptance part of the 'stages of grief' but honestly I sometimes can't stop crying. I miss what we had and the feeling that I finally found someone who understood me. I miss having being able to call him or see him...nd it's starting to frustrate me in how I'm still asking what I could've done differently although I don't think I could've done anything differently.

I going back to varsity this week and we study the same degree...In one way I want it to happen so that I can hopefully speak to him and get the closure I so desperately need...but on the other hand I'm so scared that he'll just try to hide from me.

After a while I feel like a buren because I talk to people about the situation but it doesn't seem to feel like anyone understands. I'm trying so hard to get over this pain by staying busy and not thinking of him and our times together...but honestly I don't know what to do anymore, the waves hit me te whole time...then I fee a bi better then I wake up and cry for hours...I just feel so hopeless.

refurb 02/03/2018

you won't get closure from a boy, he is a boy, he depends on mommy and daddy for all of his $,

you are head to adulthood quite nicely, you treated his parents with respect

his parents seem to want him to always need them, they manipulate him with approval and disapproval

you are better off without him and them

ifinallygetit 02/03/2018

Refurb is right..you are better off without him. You probably don't see it now but you eventually will.

Take care of yourself while going through this difficult period. Don't worry about what he is doing or how it is affecting him, he made his choice.

Here if you need a friend

Fadedgypsy 02/03/2018

Let me ask you this did he have an issue standing up to you when the two of you disagreed? The reason I ask is my ex husband had no quarrel standing up to me and letting me know how he felt but he was so co-dependant on his family that he let them treat me horrifically and never did a damn thing about it. It came down to them making him choice and he picked them of course. I never tried to make him choose although I did try to make him see the manipulation but he never would even after I recorded conversation and played them for him proving what they were doing. You will never win unless he does the one thing he can't and that's cut them out of his life. You need to accept that it's over and move on or the hurt you suffer later when theres more involved like my situation we have kids not together but I raised mine and his and it's just a whole world of ugly you want to avoid.

obviousBUTcomplex 02/05/2018

regardless of whether he is good or bad person at heart, all is pointless as long as he is dependent on his parents with his life decision. he needs to have his own mind and act accordingly. One that reflect his own personality, beliefs, interest/dislike, limits etc.... and stand behind his own choice and hold responsible for the consequences from his decision.
he is not really living his own life yet and he needs to come out of his parent's grip before considering any relationship.
You need to give yourself some time to get used to the change, the more you were personally, deeply involved in a relationship, the more harder it is and will take more time. be patient with yourself and although it feels like this is your whole world at this moment, its honestly not. although hard, try to take a step back from this issue and see the bigger picture. sometime too much feelings and emotions cloud your judgement and blind you from what it actually is. considering he is not living his own life, it may be bit pointless to get a closure from him as his response may probably be from his parents too. try not to get yourself in a relationship with someone who doesn't have own back bone and doesn't take charge of his own life. Considering and making own decision that affect one's own life makes one hold responsible and hence it put that much value/weight into it. you cannot say one is living one's life without these and being in a relationship with them makes it that much more pointless

Spikkels 02/05/2018

I appreciate the advice and the feedback. He could say if he didn't agree but yes like you said toward his parents he just freezes. I do agree with you guys and I am struggling a lot with the fact that he just left me over an internet based program and I never got closure. Today our varsity started again and I just realized he is a boy and not a man. He made it very clear that he wants nothing to do with me by blocking my friends but also deliberately missing classes with me in them. This is not what I want and although I do sometimes still feel the pain and disappointment. I would rather experience it now than later in life, like you said when there are other parties involved that could also get hurt. I just need to start getting over it and accepting the fact.

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