Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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22hope1227 05/31/2015

It has been awhile since I posted in this group. I am wondering if other people feel the same set backs like I do?

I was doing great doing things trying to stay busy and then I get set back and upset. I get so set back that I feel like I am never really moving forward.

How do you over come these set backs? I have gotten rid of everything that reminds me of my ex that I can possibly think of. I try to go do things but still she lingers in my mind.

refurb 05/31/2015

first thing is to accept that setbacks occur
for me that took some of the sting out of a setback

for me, taking the setback lump took some of the sting out the next one
in that I got to the point of not trying to hold the setback at bay, rather than trying to stay on feet, i let it knock me down, wallow in the downness until i realized that "okay enough of that, time to get off the floor now"

maybe not a textbook method but it has helped be on my feet more than on the floor

kbbcoop77 05/31/2015

It's totally normal as you navigate the stages of grief. They will lessen over time. There is no set time you just have to feel it and move forward. Make sure you're in no contact though that will mess you up every time

LostNFound3 05/31/2015

I'm sorry to say all I can do is empathize. I'm having that kind of weekend myself. I do want to second what kbbcoop said though. It has been so much worse for me whenever there is contact, so that's good advice.

mynewnormal 05/31/2015

your not alone.. I find myself wallowing in past memories.. and I have to literally make myself stop, and remind myself that's not my life anymore.. the first few months I tried focusing on all the arguments, and annoying traits he had.. helping feed my anger.. but now i'm close to my one year, and like all memories.. my memories are mostly of the 'sugar coated fun times'.. ugh.. just be real with yourself.. one day at a time.. and of course a favorite phrase 'this too shall pass..'.. I'm with you though.. its not a fun place to be

nal 05/31/2015

I am in the exact same situation. Every weekend is when my "setback" occurs. Saturday night "date night" is the loneliest and I can't wait for Monday to come. I do find comfort within friends and family. I need my friends more then ever and for the most part they have been very supportive. I start a new divorce support group tomorrow night called "New Beginnings" and am hoping it helps. Setbacks suck, but let us hope it is just a phase that passes. I agree with refurb that some day it will be alright to get off the floor now and move one. Let's move on together!

jbuck 05/31/2015

Good advice all around, thanks guys... and to the original OP, there is no way around them, only through them.

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