I don't believe he did! I just think all the anxiety makes you feel that way. Also, we can project, so he might be projecting his feelings onto you.

-Your driving yourself care, I'll send you some good enery. You need to start mediating and praying. Change your focus for now!

What if I've realized that I don't really want to move on? I really want him to come back he was my bestfriend and my only friend I miss talking to him everyday :( I really just feel so lost

Learn to love yourself again. I'm not saying that this does not hurt but when you find out that you can enjoy doing the things that you love to do again things will get better day by day. I feel like I lost my best friend as well, I did everything for her. Now I started to realize I need to do things the way I want to do things to survive. It will get better.

Can I message you? I'm having a very rough moment right now full on sobbing

Talk to your parents. They will help. If they can't say the things that bring you relief they can get you help. It will get better sweetie.

They just yell at me and say this isn't something to cry about and I actually begged until they took me to a doctor they got some therapist numbers and they said they were not calling I don't know what else to do

So sorry for this pain :( Yes it does feel like it is endless and unbearable at times. Are you talking with a counselor at all?

No my parents refuse to take me since they don't think this is hurting as much as it is.

Do you have to rely on your parents because it is their insurance? What about talking with a phone counselor?

Sorry for your pain. Letting go is a process. It does not happen immediately, especially when strong feelings are involved and the person is your only close friend and primary focus in life.
The only thing that starts making it easier is to get your attention on something else. Idle time is your enemy. It gives you too much time to reflect on memories. Are you working right now?
I have been thru this. It takes time, but it passes.

Just thought I would check back to see how you are doing this week?

Its almost like I wrote this. How I wish this would just go away. I pray things get better for us all. - Hugs

I am sorry about what happened to you. I never been in this situation so, maybe I cannot understand your pain. But, one thing I want to tell you that everything happened for a reason. Not today, but one day you will realize this when you will meet with the love of your life. More you talk or think about him more you will miss him. Do you know why he left? Try to change yourself, and enjoy the sunrise not the sunset.
Angel786