Wow I am so sorry you are going through this! What is he saying? I hate to ask this but do you feel there are any other motives behind his decision? Keep your head up everything works out for a reason and I am here to chat if you need me.

My situation was similar yet different.....my husband was money driven and wanted to move away for That big career. But it scared me that it would tear us apart so he didn't take it. Now look at me....guess you can't win whichever way you go in that situation.

He says he feels I've been emotionally controlling and he needs to heal. I am scared that this young girl who worked for him and became almost obsessive switched him into midlife crisis mode. But I don't know. Some days he says we'll leave the door open then if he feels I've done something he doesn't like he switches.
Unfortunately men are very money motivated, so I understand and sympathize with your situation. It's such a difficult position to be in.,,

Dont let him dump this on you totally

Go to a therapist and work on you and
Only Take whats yours not his. You can
only Fix yourself. They can help guide
You to figure things out.

Is he having an affair that is the big
Question? There is no excuse for
Cheating, you either work on your
Marriage or get out and get divorced.

My ex blamed me for everything his
Selfishness had no bearing on any
Problems. We both had faults and
Issues but he checked out and refused
To try any more.

Divorce care.org is a great program To
help with the grieving and the divorce
Process. HUGS

I'm not sure I get what you mean when you say leave the door open....like you guys will make it work? That younger girl.....I feel you. In my case I think it is skinnier and prettier. In my situation I picture it.....fancy car, good job, good money, trophy wife. How much younger are we talking if you don't mind me asking.

In no way am I saying that is your situation I am just venting on my situation.

You have kids, that's a BIG part and if he is a good man that will play a part. But don't let him string you along and make you miserable. HUGS

And might add ..... you are a bad wife because of resentment??? What a joke! We all have this feelings and resentment is all to common. Don't let him make you feel that you have no reason to be sad to be away from your family and friends. You did it for him!

Thank you. First off, I am in therapy, I have been for a while- I couldn't get up in the morning without it. The girl is about 25 I think, he'll be 40 this year. She is far from prettier or thinner. She's also married and has problems of her own, which is why he said she needed support,friends. They were too close, inappropriate, however never imitate physically.
He used to say he still loved me and just needed time. We used to hug and cry together, he has just gotten more distant and more angry. I don't know.
As for thinking someone is better than you, you have to stop that! He left because of him, don't allow his actions to define you . And the blame game I know well, my husband stuck his finger in my face and told me we are in this situation solely because of me. Ridiculous

I think we are close in age or at least it seems that way. I was with my husband for 17 years. Until about 5 years ago he did not have a successful career, caught a break and bam! I truly believe we went downhill from there. I supported him for so so many years and to just drop me like he did was such a hard blow.

As far as that young thing which is the nicest way I can explain her right now, she needed someone to lean on and how dare her interfere with your family. I guess that's part of the immatureity.

Well push that finger right out of your face. You are not to blame here I'm sorry. He needs to figure out wtf he wants because you won't wait around forever to find out. It may feel like crap right now but you have to do what's best for you and family and friends may be the best thing right now.

I feel like such a little kid saying this, but it's not fair! I just saw a picture of him at his sisters house. I don't have any family near me, he gets to go an hour to see his sister for comfort. While I'm glad he has her, shows my stupidity and love, I need someone too! I would love a real hug, an embrace from someone who truly loves me, it's been months... it just kills me, absolutely shattering.

You have to talk to your family and friends. Someone will come running to be there for you right away. If you don't want everyone to know pick someone you can trust and you know will be there for you. Until then we are all here for you. Xoxo

he's blaming you and you may have some blame for the state of your marriage. However, so does he!

And he seems to be actively doing something .

I suggest that you hire a divorce attorney.

I contacted a lawyer for a consultation. It just kills me, this isn't what I wanted at all, now I just wish I could stop loving him. He is so up and down. I think it's too soon for a divorce, only a month so I've asked him to allow our kids, my youngest is 5, some more adjustment time & time for he and I to communicate better so we can be good parents to our kids, show them that we love them and each other enough to work together.

I gave in today, we will be divorcing later, I asked that we let the kids settle in and get accustomed to the routine. I don't want to be with someone who can be as cruel as he's been through this. I feel better but so sad still. I have to start over since I gave everything up for him. 15 years... I feel lost and scared. I am trying to refocus on my children and my education, I am so close to my PhD... it's the one thing I've always wanted and I gave it up to be with him and have our first child. I just don't want this to get messy or strung out... how does this happen??

The good news is that you have your education. I am in a similar boat and only have an AA. Not somewhere you want to be at 51 years old. Also I've only worked very low paying, part-time jobs after being a SAHM. Stupid move on my part. He has a great family/friend support network while I don't. I focused mostly on the kids/him. Now I'm basically alone and rely on my kids too much. This is so hard. Hang in there.

It is hard, especially when you give up everything for someone. You can take classes online, it wouldn't take long for you to get your bachelors. I have faith in you! I have put myself out there with friends/coworkers and just straight up asked for support, cried in offices and hugged just about everyone. Hug your babies and hold your head high.