Hello everyone,

I am new here. My husband and I have been together for over 8 years (I am 29). The relationship has been pretty bad the last 2 years, it has never been really an easy relationship. But now it seems pretty clear to me that I need to break up with him. We have had so many talks about how to make it better but it just doesn't work. Today it's his birthday, yesterday I spent all day preparing a caring gift for him, I went to a different city to get some jeans he likes, I designed a personalized card, I bought a beautiful gift bag with a ballon, I baked his favorite cake. Today I gave him the gift and he didn't even opened it , he looked really fast to what was in the bag and said "jeans, thanks" put it away and went back to sleep. I put so much effort even thought we are not in a good place and he was very ungrateful (he didn't get me anything for my last birthday, not even a card or a flower). 

We live in his dad's house because we were both unemployed for some months (I suffer from anxiety). I am from a different country and I have been in my current city only living a here for less than a year, I have no family or friends around to go to, no one. I don't even have a credit score yet, or a credit card. I have had 3 jobs interviews this week but nothing yet. I don't know how to leave, I can't find the strength to do it. 

We were wanting to adopt for the last 3 years, and it breaks my heart that I have to give up on that dream for now. Part of me doesn't leave because I still love him and I feel like I am throwing many years of my life away but I know that this doesn't work and I am suffering. He is very cold, and he is emotional immature which makes this much more difficult that already is. 

Any suggestions?