Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi, I joined this group today because I am having a real hard time with my separation. I have been married now for over 4 years. I have been with my wife for a total of 15 years. Before we got married, things were great. We bought a house together before getting married because we thought it was a smarter move. Well, we got married and thats when things changed. We found out we could not have kids and this crushed my wife. She was very upset and never dealt with the issue. On top of that, she started to have irregular menstral cycles to the point she was bleeding every day for over a year. This weighed on her and reminder her daily that she could not have kids. On top of this, she then accussed me of being emotionally abussive. I know i'm not perfect but I read a book called "The emotionally abussive relationship" and found i have some of the things they talk about. I tried admitting this to her, but she said I should wait until I have a professionals help. Just over 2 months ago is when everything went really south. She started drinking a lot and stopped coming home at night. She wouldn't even call me and I would wait up all night scared out of my mind. This went on for a while and one night I got a text saying she thought about killing herself. I called the police and they found her. They took her to the hospital where they monitored her for the night. She was released the next day to me and she came home. Her mental health is poor right now. Things didn't work out and she went back to the hospital. Now she is living at her parents. I assumed at this point that out relationship was over for good. A few days later I got a message from her asking to go to marriage counselling. I asked her if this was what she wanted to do and she said yes. I took it very seriously and started reading the book and booked an appointment to see a psychotherapist about my issues. Today, I brought up that I need to pay the bills, including her insurance on her car. All the bills go through my account and she gives me money every two week. Se never put out accounts together. Anyways, she then said that she would prefer as little contact for now. I am so confused. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should just let her go and not do counselling or if I should give her space and hope for the best. This is so tough.
cut yourself some slack - you've been honoring your vows, you've been trying and you acknowledge and address your shortcomings , thats better than most people do
i can only imagine to imagine what is like getting the news that you can't be a parent, that would have rocked me, so maybe it did a number on your wife, hang in there for her a bit longer
i wish you the best