Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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AlexaD 08/03/2016

Hello- I decided to leave my husband once and for all in April of this year after just 4 years of marriage. We have a 3 year old and a 1 year old together. I moved out of our house at the beginning of June into a 2 bedroom apartment. I am completely OK with the decision to divorce my husband. I was a little hestitant at first because I didn't want my kids to grow up in a divorced situation. What I am having problems with is being alone. Yes I have my kids, but in the evenings after they are in bed I stay up and talk to people. I feel bad for my parents, sister, cousin and best friend because I pester them when I am lonely.

I have also started drinking every evening and I have been smoking about 2 packs of cigarettes a day. I can only sleep for 4-5 hours at a time and I can't usually go to sleep without some sort of aid. I started seeing my psychologist again and have an appointment with the med doctor in a couple of weeks.

A couple of months ago I started talking to a guy who lives a couple of hours away. We have met 3 times but his 9 year old daughter just broke both of her wrists. We were texting throughout the day for 2 months and spoke on the phone every few days. He told me yesterday that we can still text, but that he isn't going to make time to see me until his daughter is healed up. I have become extremely attached to this guy and I feel like he is going to drift away from me if we aren't making plans to see each other. When he told me he wasn't planning on seeing me he didn't text me once for the rest of the day.

I am here looking for other people who can help me not be so lonely and so dependent on my few close friends/family members. I also don't want to be dependent on a man for my own happiness, but I am lost on how to get back in touch with me and be happy with just me and my kids.

Getstronger 08/03/2016

Hi alexaD I'm sorry to hear about your situation it sucks, the hurt,confusion,change,loneliness.I think everybody on here goes through it in different ways.I'm going through a separation atm 8 months in,I'm living alone in the family home which is nearly sold,I've been doing the drinking thing as well every night,I try to keep it to 3 beers a night just to take the edge off things.getting drunk doesn't help me can't function the next day.go easy on yourself you say you've got 2 little ones,they should be your focus now and looking after yourself.seen it so many times here about time being a healer it's so true,one day at a time .look after yourself and your kids that's all that matters atm.take care.

AlexaD 08/03/2016

When my boys are awake I spend all of my time with them when I'm not working. I am fighting through depression right now though and have no motivation to do anything. I watch them and I put SO much effort into playing with them and making them feel loved, but I know they can feel my desolation. I am trying but I don't know how much longer it will be enough.

I hadn't cried once since I decided to end my marriage, but I got addicted to this other guy and since we aren't talking right now he is all I think about and I break down every couple of hours. How could I let someone I barely know get so far under my skin? I can't even really lean on my family and friends because they are tired of listening to me. My mom is a psychologist and I ask for her advice, but she doesn't have much time to talk to me.

mirandac 08/03/2016

I am glad you are going back into therapy,
Getting in a rebound relationship while still
Married is not the Answer. Thats a quick fix
bandaid treatment for the Pain and hurt.

Generally those dont Work out well in the
long term. Thats delaying All the emotions
and feelings that you need to Face and move
thru to get to the other side.

The recommended wait time is one year after
Divorce or much later as in many want To
heal first before jumping in again.

Divorce is not much fun, there is divorce care.org
or any support groups that will help you heal and
Fill that void you feel inside right now.

Let yourself grieve your losses thats where
Divorce care comes in they help with the grieving
Process and there are others going thru the same
Thing. HUGS

cafelover 08/03/2016

Hi Alexa, sorry to hear about the pain that loneliness is causing. Feeling alone is a real issue- we are social creatures and need to feel connected to other people. I think there's also a balance of finding enjoyment in being alone as well....extreme self care is what everyone tells me during a break up. Care for yourself like you would a friend who isn't well...whatever it is that can bring some joy. Music or yoga or flowers or baking..

annesanchez 08/04/2016

Hi I hope this helps. https://youtu.be/5uMEGpkZJyw

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