Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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Selfish

diemjs
diemjs
I have been in a really good mood all day. Then the texts started with the stbx, and BAM! he has me thinking again. What am I thinking? Well, I will tell you what Im thinking!!

Im thinking that I read too much into what he says to me. Im thinking I am soaring on a wing and a prayer in the hopes that he might want me back.

Then Im thinking what a dope I am for even thinking this way! Im thinking I dont want to go back to that! So, why should I even think this way? Im thinking I am so much better off with out him in my life. Im thinking I miss him, but not enough to go work on things. After all, he doesnt want me, and that is the problem. Im thinking I am selfish in the respect that I dont want to go back with him, but, maybe, just maybe, if he showed a little of something for me, I would feel better. Does that make sense?

He has told me lots of times he is done with me and that he doesnt trust me anymore. He doesnt want to try again for any reason what so ever.

OK, THEN Im thinking, I read some of the posts just now, and I am feeling REALLY bad because my stupid issues are not half as bad, and I should be helping you all instead of bitching about it!

So, there, that is what Im thinking.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I suppose you caould call it selfish...I prefer to think of it as human!
verbra
verbra
I think sometimes we think too much. Clear your mind then start over.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Who's pain do you naturally feel more acutely - your own or someone else's? That you have taken the time to consider the feelings of others even though you are struggling is thoughtful. I know that the person I was with is not capable of love and concern for me, but I think that my wishing that he had or could is perfectly okay and natural to desire (I know it is feels silly to want something even after you know it does not work - but oh the mysteries of emotions) Don't beat yourself up for the thoughts that blip across your mind. They come and go.
diemjs
diemjs
Thanks all, I needed this!
deleted_user
deleted_user
This post almost made me smile because it sounds so much like the way I think in circles. Sometimes I wonder if relationships seem like more work because when there's conflict I think it out so hard and try so hard to figure out what was exactly the right thing.

Then you wonder, does the other person give it nearly this much thought? What were they thinking? Do most people just make snap judgments and stubbornly wait for everything to go their way, rather than trying to be even half as flexible as you are when you're tying yourself into a fricking pretzel just trying to give and receive some goddamn love and respect in this confusing lonely world? Or is that too judgmental a thing to say? Should I rethink the whole thing in a different way, tie myself into a different pretzel?

I don't even know if this makes sense.