You are not alone. I'm at an all-time low now myself, so my advice may not be great.

What I'm trying to do to recover is:
1. List the things I am thankful for each day.
2. Attend alanon to better understand where the low self-worth comes from with regard to my childhood experiences with an alcoholic step-parent.
3. Checking out a couple of psychologists this week to find one that I click with and whom I believe can help me.
4. Spiritually, reminding myself that I am a child of God, and though my wife doesn't want me, my heavenly parents do. They love all of their children.
5. Trying to live in the moment (very hard for me to do)

Here is a quote from Courage to Change:

How often I look outside myself for approval!
The project at work is successful, but my good feelings depend upon having that success acknowledged. The meal I cook is not as tasty when no one compliments the cook. I sometimes resent the favors I do for my children and others when they neglect to thank me.

We all need an occasional pat on the back, but when the applause of others becomes necessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me. People may forget to notice the terrific things I have done or may not be comfortable offering me praise. I don't have to take it personally. Self-pity and resentment are not my only options. If I can learn to evaluate my own actions and behavior and to value my own judgment, then the approval of others will be enjoyable, but no longer essential to my serenity.

Just for today, I will appreciate myself. I will not look to others for approval; I will provide it for myself. I'll allow myself to recognize that I am doing the best I can. Today, my best is good enough.

Thank you for your post. I am trying to work on these pieces as well:
Spiritually, reminding myself that I am a child of God, and though my wife doesn't want me, my heavenly parents do. They love all of their children.
5. Trying to live in the moment (very hard for me to do)

Hard for me as well, but it has become my new mantra - just for today. I was in alanon years ago, but there are no groups close to me.
I keep telling myself that if God loves me, I should too. I will keep trying.

Most days.. even after almost 11 months now. I still continue to beat myself up on how horrible I must have really been and probably still are as a wife, mother, friend, partner of any kind. Talking to my siblings just makes me feel worse even though they do want me to. Just having a voice tell me that I will be OK is what helps me some days. Being able to talk about other things and taking time out on my issues. But doesn't take much to send me right back. Questions or comments, conversations of others, a song on the radio...I have turned to reading, listening to podcasts, youtube videos and signed up for daily emails. Haven't met with counselor as we live in a small community and he is upset when he finds out I have talked to people. He refused to do any counseling as a couple or even for himself.

Self worth, that you love yourself above all else. That you feel worthy of love. That you do not engage in a relationship where you are codependent.

No answers but I am struggling with this right now. It has been a year and 4 months since we decided to divorce. Somedays I am so positive and moving forward and doing things such as yoga, meditation, trail running, mountain biking, volunteering and trying to be the best father I can be. Those things do make me feel good. Then other days I hear the things my stbxw said ringing in my head and I wonder why I spent 11 years with this person telling me she didn't want to be with me and me trying to be the person she would love and want. I am going to see a therapist who does movement therapy. I am done talking about it and I feel stuck with my version of the story. I need to try something different. Don't know if it will help. My first session is the 26th of January. I will let you know how it goes. Best wishes to you in how ever you choose to build backup your self worth.

Thanks cab. good luck.

There definitely comes a time when you are just plain tired of talking about it. It's all been said. And yet you are numb and stuck. I also hear the things me ex said running through my mind. I tend to take in the negatives and worked so hard to fix the things that seemed like objectives set in shifting desert sands. No matter what I did, there was always something I was doing wrong. That gets internalized, and I'm also looking for how to break out, own what was real, but discern what was BS and rationalization for leaving.

I'm eager to hear how the movement therapy goes as well.

it is human to the need for other people to give you positive feedback. I once had a lady friend that got involved in all kinds of social events and tried to please everyone , but never cared about my feelings, to the point that she started going on vacations with her friends instead of me.

You can talk to anyone that will support you (your husband does not get to forbid you to speak and seek support). A therapist is legally and professionally bound to keep things confidential, so that should not be a problem for your husband, and if it his, his tough luck -- therapists give great support and help you set goals and support you moving towards them.

My therapist will ask what I am thinking and then check for "cognitive distortions" (google it) -- thoughts that we say to ourselves that are totally not real, not things others are thinking about us. Most people aren't thinking about us, they are thinking about themselves too...

but i know the feeling and go there every day when I am feeling like my marriage is over (mine is in limbo right now).

do what you need to for yourself!

A lot of the time, when we are going through something as life changing as a breakup our self worth or value of ourselves comes with what another person places on us. A lot of the problem with that is, most times those we allow to "price us" you will most likely find at the Dollar store themselves. its just at that time, we will take whatever it is someone is willing to give us so we can feel like we are worth something to someone because we are feeling like we aren't worth anything to the one we thought we meant the most to.

There is really nothing you can do or say, without going around in circles in your head day after day saying the same thing. It just takes time for a person to realize that the values you allow others to place on you, is far below what you are really worth.

Hang in there and continue to be good and kind to yourself, knowing, you are worth more than "that person" deserved.

a simple step - look in the mirror - and say "i love you".........until you mean it.....

What a wonderful quote. just what I needed to see today...thank you!