Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Self Esteem Issues

wiggywango
wiggywango
To all those out there that feel they have suffered some self esteem issues as a result of their break up or even before. I use an audio recording of self esteem affirmations that I play everyday, sometimes several times a day while I'm at work or before I go to sleep. The intent is to reprogram your subconscious negative thoughts (core beliefs) about yourself and create positive ones. The author is Louise Hay. You can check out a free version of her stuff on YouTube. The YouTube post is called Feeling Fine Affirmations by Louise Hay. It's not the same version I use personally...the one on YouTube has more annoying music and is a bit more repetitive and has some body image stuff, but if anyone likes the idea of this type of thing once you've checked it out you can buy the version I use called "Self Esteem Affirmations" from her website. Its under Books & Gifts, Audio CD's and its on the 3rd page of the list. Or alternatively, depending on comfort level, anyone is welcome to message me privately on this site and I can email my digital version for free. You can set up an internet email account to ensure your privacy and I will use my internet account. Just throwing it out there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Wiggy: I like the self esteem affirmations and that's really good.

I also liked to dance and would use some great fast dance music and would dance to it and that made me feel really good and positive about myself. I always liked dancing, but by ex never would. I never used songs that made me sad.
HelloMimi
HelloMimi
I would love if you could email it to me :)

At the beginning of the break up I didn't listen to any music because I know I get conditioned very quickly, so didn't want to ruin my favorite songs with sad memories. But now I dance a lot too (he didn't like to dance either).

Right now I'm just trying to do all the things I wanted to do but he never supported/join me, last sunday I ran a 5k race!.. well, "ran", but I made it to the finish line :p
deleted_user
deleted_user
You go Mimi! Woot woot! I think the self esteem affirmations sounds interesting. I am going to try reading, making new friendships who build me up and excersizing. My favorite form of excersize is dance. That's great that both of you ladies love music and dance. Astimegoesby, do you do spins with your chair and robot arms? I'm just imagining how cute that would be, with your cat looking at you like your crazy.
HelloMimi
HelloMimi
Haha awww... the other day I was singing and my dog was just looking at me in a very weird way.... I guess my voice is not great :p

Oh! that's another thing, my dog sleeps in my room again, I cannot believe I let stbxh take the dog out of the house! Never again, if a new guy wants to come into my life, he must knows my dog is my baby.

I think is awesome you're getting some new-healthy friends Blondie, it's good to surround yourself with positive people!

Good vibes for all! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
As someone seeking help and advice here, I suppose I don't have the best advice. But I have in the past done a lot of self help reading, and with anxiety, have found the following to be helpful; when you look in the mirror @ yourself...SMILE! Remind yourself of your past acomplishments that made you feel happy or proud! Take a very deep breath in, release slowly, and repeat @ least 3 times. I'm not big on meditation but taking time to remind yourself of the good things that have happened in your life can really help. Also, maybe this is jus me, but putting on some 6eel good music, maybe even something fromthe past that reminds you of happier times...can really pick up your spirits! If I'm not in the mood for misic but need a pick-me-up, I play it anyways and it ALWAYS puts me in a better mood. I was told by someone a long time ago, that you should never turn down an opportunity, no matter your mood. Once you take the step (trip, walk, ride, whatever), your mood can totally change! That advice gave me some of my best memories, and I try to incorporate it now in my time of need. My 2 cents;)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Adding to my last post...(pls excuse my out-dated bb cell for the terrible spelling and caps issue)......I lost my father in june 2010 to a sudden, unexplainable drowning. During that time I had many other things going on that ripped my world apart for 6 months to a year. While it is still fresh in my memory, what once made me feel sad and hopeless (looking @ pics and listening to his cd's he made), now make me play it loud and sing along in great rememberance! They say breakups and divorce are similar to a death in the family, after all, a partner is family....so in my stages of grief as it relates to my father, I am sad he is gone but rejoice in the GOOD memories! If not for those I would be lost. To the others w/their pet stories, lol! My pets have a way of giving me comfort that cannot be explained. Even internet vids of funny animals or ppl have made me lol when I wanted to cry. Ok, just writing this brought a smile to my face;)