Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My divorce from my cheating stbx husband is almost final. He had turned into a serial cheater with many random partners. Should be in a couple of weeks. I have had no contact with him since February (easy, because he lives in another country). I have to go to a wedding (well, I don't HAVE to, but I want to go because it is a good friend of mine) in the other country where he lives May 2nd. I am very nervous about seeing him. He has also not tried to contact me per my request. A little background: I found out he was cheating back in Nov. 2014. We split our time up between 2 countries because we have multiple businesses in both countries. Anyway, immediately after I found out I filed for divorce (like, 4 days afterwards). He called me 2 weeks later crying saying he wanted to work things out. I went to him (we were in separate countries by that time) and at first it seemed like things might work, but then it became apparent to me that he just wanted his cake and eat it too, so I left Feb 17th and continued with the divorce proceedings, which are now almost complete: we have both signed the settlement agreement and now the judge just has to sign. we had lot of assets but no children. Married 25 years.
So, I am going to see him at this wedding, plus i will probably see him around the town where he lives and I still retain property.
I still can get fairly angry when I think about what happened, and i can be sad as well. Every day gets easier but I don't know what will happen to my emotions when I see him. THoughts? Advice?
So, I am going to see him at this wedding, plus i will probably see him around the town where he lives and I still retain property.
I still can get fairly angry when I think about what happened, and i can be sad as well. Every day gets easier but I don't know what will happen to my emotions when I see him. THoughts? Advice?
On the other hand, you don't want your cheating ex to prevent you from being involved in something you were looking forward to. If you think you are strong enough, go in with a plan. A plan to ignore him, first and foremost, or if you find yourselves in a situation where you have speak, politely say hello and then excuse yourself. Definitely DO NOT DRINK ANY ALCOHOL. You don't want that 'liquid courage' feeling to go unload on him or something, or say anything to him at all, really. That'd be my advice. You could also go to the ceremony, and then make a very brief appearance at the reception just to congratulate your friend, or skip the reception altogether. It's really a personal decision based on how you feel about your progress.
Everything in life is a trade-off. I have no opinion on whether you should go or not, I would just say that whatever you choose, your priority should be your emotional health.
1. Go to the wedding.
2. Not go to the wedding
Follow your gut on this one. What does your gut tell you? If your gut is telling you that you want to go to the wedding, then try to minimize contract with him while you are there. Just focus on your friends while you are there. It might seem unfun and feel like work, but if it is important for you to go, then you will have to just do your best to minimize contact with him while you are there.
If you decide not to go to the wedding, then perhaps call, email, text your friend and let them know why. Let them know that you are in a midst of a divorce and need to avoid being in the same location as him.
Remember it is your choice and your life!