I don't know why God couldn't last the not-running-into-each-other interval between me and him longer than 6 months. It's been 3 years and I guess I ran into him every now and then, more than 6, 7 times, even though we don't live in the same city.

Yesterday was my best friend's engagement party. I was the bridesmaid. I didnt know my best friend didnt tell me that the last stage of the event was a late cocktail party after dinner, and she didnt say that she invited some people to that cocktail, including my ex and his wife. Yes. She is my best friend. Theyre having social connection with each other. I always know Ill meet them at the wedding, but didnt expect this to happen last night at the engagement.

She was beautiful and 2 months pregnant. She looks tired. And he is himself as always, entertaining, but also very caring for his pregnant wife.

I was sitting in the corner of the lounge with other girls, tired after a long day in the sunny and humide weather; upset with the change of my heartbeat. Lets travel back 5 years ago when I first met him.

He is French. Good looking. Fashionable. Sexy. Hit on me as the most attractive girl in the crowd. I dont know what it is like in your country. But in mine, when you date a French, youll know the whole French community. Two of those French guys told me: Dont date him. Hes not good for you. But I was blindly in love. He was so very self-centered, broke my heart, cheated on me. I broke up with him. He begged me back. I accepted. He disappointed me for constantly being self-centered. I broke up with him again. He begged me again. I refused. He went to that other girl a friend of my best friend.

6 months ago, I ran into him again. Taking the high road is something in my blood. I was born with it. No matter what I feel inside. I behaved the way I have always been behaving myself at all time. I didnt hide. I didnt act. Always with courtesy. He looked so happy to see me. He tried to make conversation. He tried to talk to me alone, away from the crowd of friends. He tried to know more about me during all that time. At a moment, I couldnt hold it.

I asked: Why do you talk to me?
He said: Because I care about you. I really appreciated you. Always have. I want to be your friend.
I asked: You didnt know what you did to me?
He was confused: Yes I did. But I thought its been 3 years and the time would delete
I said: When there was shit, you disappeared. When the time deletes the shit, you want to come back, taking the good piece of cake. You want to be my friend?
He was shocked of my words. He was even more shocked when my tears went down.
I told him: You werent by my side when I was down. You will not be in my life when Im good. That good piece of cake is not for you. Do not contact me. Do you understand?
He knocked.

My best friend said: Youre so lucky to get away from that guy. Hes fun to hang out with, but hes a self-centered controlling showing-off smart tight ass. His wife is totally a follower. He does fraud in his job, and also in his wifes money. And she listed a long list of other defaults that I never knew of. I felt luck. I felt good.

But why the F--- did my heartbeat still change when I saw them last night???

Yes, I am always the person with courtesy. I didnt hide and didnt act. As the bridesmaid. I stayed until the end of the party. As they came late, they stayed lated. When there were only 2 tables, I was with 2 other girls, and they were with my best friend, her fianc, and one more girl; I was surprised when my best friends fiance came toward and whispered to me: Yen, please come to join us. They were here but you dont give a damn about it.

I was surprised, not only because my best friends fianc knew and cared about my situation, but he also showed it, wanted to protect me, wanted to stand by my side all these were what I expected from my best friend, but didnt receive it.

I turned to the 2 other girls, ask them if they wanted to join the other table. They agreed. We all went there. I smiled nicely with everybody, greeting, even with my ex bfs wife. She smiled back. Maybe she wondered what the heck was I doing, maybe she was too tired of pregnancy. My best friends fianc sat next to me.

I talked like nothing special happened, not too distant, not too close. I even asked my ex bfs wife how was her pregnancy. I complimented the colour of her lipstick.

My ex bf looked at me with both being stunned and confusion. He stopped his being-fun-guy-to-hang-out-with, just all silent and look at me.

I dont know with whom I was upset more: My best friend? Or the change of my heartbeat.

I was so very touched by my best friends fianc. It is not every day you meet someone who could understand your heart.