Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have been posting on here from time to time to vent out my feelings. Over this whole journey of being single after almost two years of dating has really hit me. I am so used to having my ex by my side every step of the way and now she has been gone for almost 9 months now. I am in total chaos because I enjoyed having her company and for the first time in my life, I felt love in my heart that I never had with anyone else before. After 9 months, I have been internally depressed. I loved having her around even if we were just hanging out and doing nothing. She was the first woman that I had in my life that I believed was the one for me. I planned to get engaged with her once we hit our two years because she was by my side for the whole two years. The battle that I fight everyday is that she cheated on me. I never got closure from her. I fight this battle of wanting to get her back every day I am alive. I have never been so depressed inside before. I act like everything is going well with me on the outside when in reality my heart is pouring out blood and on it's last few breathes of air and considering whether or not it is worth it.. She was such a part of me and involved with me and my family. I went across the world with her literally and that meant a lot to me. Deep inside my heart I am wanting her back because even after 9 months, my heart is missing its other half and my ex was and still is the other half of me. We were so involved together that we were living together and even got our own pet. Clique yes but that is something I never had before. I miss her every second of the day. I have her number and she still has mine. She's with the guy she cheated with me on still because I don't think she knows what to do either. I want to meet her and just talk. She has always been a very emotional woman and that may have been my downfall because I do not be emotional unless someone has proven it to me. I am needing advice on how to talk to her and see what she is feeling. We would not have been together for two years if we did not believed we were made for each other.
Sorry for what you are going though. It's understandable having trouble. I mean your ex side by side every step and that taken away can be shocking.
"They" say it takes half as long as the relationship to get over someone.
I can't answer these questions only you can but you need to really answer than :
* Loved having her around so you wouldn't be lonely or for her or ideal of her?
* Why the engagement at 2 years? If you wanted to marry her why a timelimit? Did something cause you to wait that long? She didn't make it 2 years, shouldn't that tell you something?
* Closure for cheating? Is any answer really going to be acceptable? What can she say that will make it easier?
It's normal to be depressed but you have to focus on you. Stop looking for answers because you may never get any.
It may not be what you want to hear but I don't think you should talk to her. What if she says yes let's get back together, but cheating and the reason she cheated - will that be solved? What if she says no? Will it be closure or even more crushed?
Umm, she knew what she was doing cheating. She knows what she's doing staying with the other guy.
It's normal in a breakup to think "What if this", or "if she just sees this" or "I need to know this" but none of that helps.
Best thing - focus on you. Get her out of your head for a while. Stop worrying about her. Delete her number. Work on you. Be happy. Happiness can't come from someone else.
Don't give up on life. There is someone better than her out there. I promise. Someone who will stand side by side and travel. Someone that will cherish you and won't cheat.