Hi everybody.   My wife asked me for a separation two days ago after a 17 year marriage.  We have three children, two still living at home, and two dogs.  Oh, and not to forget, we have plenty of debt.  I moved out since she was a stay at home mom the last fifteen years and currently has no income.   Our marriage was not very good.   Plus, she has the kids for emotional support.  I was emotionally vacant a lot of the time.   I tried to plug in and fill her needs but it would not last more than a few weeks.  She grew up in an abusive household with very little love or reassurance so I am sure we was looking for praise and validation.   I grew up in an unemotional household and felt that providing a good home and making sure everything was taken care of made me a good husband.  I failed her on the emotional part.  I feel very lonely, very scared, and empty.   I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I miss my family, house and dogs.  I tried to talk to her yesterday and she said the night I was not there was the best night of sleep she has had in years and she knows we made the right decision.  Anyways, I don't have anyone to talk to that would understand.  I think she deserves happiness.   After 17 years I owe her that much.   I just feel like an utter failure.  I constantly think about what I could have and should have done.   I know it will get better.   I know I have to go through the pain to get better.   I am just afraid to be alone.   Sad to be in a different environment.  And I hope I am strong enough to let her have happiness and not try to manipulate my way back into her life so I will not have to face the pain.   She is a wonderful person and I do love her.   I am just sad.   I have read many of the posts and appreciate the time all of you take to help others.   If, or I should say when, I come out of this I hope I can help others as well.  I will end this since I am crying over my keyboard and cannot afford a new laptop.