i would have done the same thing... yup.

i'd demand divorce too if you had me committed and i'm not going to forgive you so easily.

Galvatron,
I had no choice he pulled a gun on my daughter.

So if I were to have pulled a gun on your daughter, wouldn't you be the on divorcing me?

Why would you want me? Aren't you afraid that if I came back I'd do it again?

I think divorce is inevitable.

I am also scared he will pull it on me, but I keep hoping he can be treated, because we never had a big argument, we have been through so much together taking care of our parents until their deaths. An accident that took his leg and almost killed us. Months and years of recovery. Through it all was this undying love, but when you see a beautiful person start to become someone you don't know, with really bizarre behavior., It scares you to death, it wasn't an easy decision, in fact it was the hardest one I have ever had to make. I don't know how I will ever live without him, but I'm scared.

what you see in front of you is the man that he is now.

violence to the point that he pulled a gun on a loved one.

divorce him.

Welcome Sunni,

Congrats for taking care of the emergency situation at home before anyone got hurt. It was the absolute right thing to do, but still must have been hard as hell.

Thinking you are asking for advice. I'll offer mine.

Your daughter is safe, You are safe, He's safe. Time to catch your breath. I try to follow the rule of not judging people at their worst, and make no judgements about your loving caring husband of 8 years,

Before doing too much else, Get the guns out of the house.

Ay this point it is quite likely that he is drugged beyond recognition. A good rule to follow is not to talk to him about anything you wouldn't talk to you neighbor about. Don't put much stock in anything he says. He needs time to heal. So do you.

Your first counseling session will be tough, but not nearly as tough as doing nothing. Hopefully you daughter can get counseling as well.

There are a lot of questions you have in front of you. It is quite possible that he is simply temporarily ill and will get better with medical help, love and support. A professional will need to assess that. Medical history will be a factor.

If it was any other illness, standing by your man would not be a question, but since he has posed a threat to you and your daughter, it will take time to re-establish the trust, even when the love is still there.

When you have the strength, and a reliable diagnosis, find folks familiar and experienced with whatever he is suffering from.

I would be looking into temporary housing for him. He may require a couple months away from the family stressors. You can still love him and live apart while he heals.

There really isn;t enough information for me to offer much more, except that many people will predict marriage failure, but what comes next is largely up to you. Many marriages have recovered from much worse. It takes faith, commitment, loyalty, patience and lots of energy, Those that do end up stronger.

Whatever path you choose, Take care of yourself and your precious daughter.

Cheers

Sunni you don't have to explain to anyone why you had him committed. Obviously, he was a threat to himself or others otherwise they wouldn't have committed him without his consent. I feel for you dear. I'm sorry.

Jeez, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I know that you say your not a young woman, but your not that old either. Hopefully they will be able to figure out what's wrong with your H.

Don't have any advice, but am sending you whatever support I can.

If this was another family member like a sister or parent or child would you allow them to walk away? Your husband is not well obviously so he isn't thinking clearly. He is very sick and needs time, space and support to heal from this just like you and your daughter do. Him not wanting you around could be that he is both upset and hurt by you calling authorities and committing him, but he could be angry and ashamed for not being strong enough to hold himself together. I think therapy is a good starting point to figure out what's going on. Hold on to the love you shared and have hope and faith that you all will get through this horrible trial some day.

He pulled a gun on your daughter, really? Let's keep it actually real - what is most important here, his well-being or your daughter's safety? Look, I get that it is difficult for you - patterns of behavior over time, your complicated feelings, etc. - but seriously, keep your daughter (and yourself) safe, first and foremost, sheesh.

you don't know what to do with your marriage?
or you don't know what to do with your feelings?

I was in a very similar situation at the beginning of the year, and my husband is still blaming me for the 6 month downward spiral he has been in ever since. I hope you do go to the family therapy, and find some counseling for your daughter and yourself. A psychotic break is terrifying, add a weapon, it's life threatening. I totally agree with confusedwpg, and I also suggest you find your local NAMI organization. They have free support groups and offer a "Family to Family" class that is very empowering. I know exactly how you feel and what you're struggling with. I know what it's like to know that wonderful man, and when you've lost him, to keep hoping and praying for his recovery and return to you. I pray you and your family remain safe and find peace.