Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Scared to start all over

Greyjoy2415
Greyjoy2415

 Im new to this, and i hope it would be helpful. i was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 6 years.. it all started out beautiful.. but turned out to be worst thing ever. its taking a while to put myself out there... i find it a bit terrifying because i dont know if theres any genuine person out there, i dont know if im going to meet a narcissist again and that has caused me to find it really hard to start all over. i would love to be friends with men or women who have faced or are facing thesame ordeal. Relating on thesame level with my kind, would help me get through the dirt easier. i want to listen to the stories of others and share my own experiences aswell. Is there anyone else here who has been in a relationship with a narcissist?

NiceLady17
NiceLady17
Hi Greyjoy - WOw, I am so glad you asked if there were others that have been in your shoes. Yes, I have. The greatest word of advice I can give you is to TAKE YOUR TIME!!! The reason being is not to sound poetic or negative, but the thing is, once we have put up with a n. for so long, and they have beat us down emotionally for any given amount of time, we begin to believe those things. We then tend to believe that we don't deserve any better, no one will want us, we are too stupid, fat and ugly and they are doing us a favor for being with us. You need to learn new life skills and it's almost as if you are reprogramming your brain, or your entire life if you will. It is imperative that you work on yourself before you jump into the next relationship, because right now, I can almost guarantee that your radar is up and you are an abuse magnet.

My first husband beat me for 10 years. Second husband was worse, when I thought nothing could be worse, the verbal, emotional, escalated to physical, and I went from one bad relationship to the next worst one because I hadn't taken the time to work on myself to know that I could say no, that I can be choosy, that I am not so desperate that I have to settle for crumbs. So, don't be scared, but make sure you know how to pick and choose and politely say 'no thank you' to any guy who is not going to treat you less than wonderful (that you are!).