Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I was a SAHM for 16 years during our marriage. I spoke to my lawyer today and she advised me that the courts will consider me employable since I am able-bodied and they will just assume I can make twice minimum wage when they calculate child support.
I am not lazy, and I don't mind working, but this terrifies me. I married young and I have never worked for pay before in my life. Twice minimum wage is $36K a year! That's a ton of money! And I have kids at home, what am I supposed to do with them when I am working? Where do I even begin to look for a job?
Has anyone else faced this?
I am not lazy, and I don't mind working, but this terrifies me. I married young and I have never worked for pay before in my life. Twice minimum wage is $36K a year! That's a ton of money! And I have kids at home, what am I supposed to do with them when I am working? Where do I even begin to look for a job?
Has anyone else faced this?
First, look at what types of skills you feel are employable. google SAHM to work and see what you find online
Next, look for jobs, ( I would suggest the school district) that have similar hours as your children in school, ( plus schools have summers off).
Then make yourself a resume, list skills etc and reach out to friends/family that can help you develop that ( I am very good at those so if you don't have help, message me and I would be willing to help you)
Then just put yourself out there, apply for things, You could go to your local Manpower or temp agency, they can help you as well.
If you are not getting enough child support to cover any daycare expenses then you can apply for state aid that will help with childcare etc...
Your lawyer can arrange for you to meet with a vocational counselor who has experience assessing an individual's skills, capabilities and qualifications for various jobs. The vocational counselor is also supposed to have a good bead on the local job market and what the Average starting salary is for those jobs for which you're qualified. In my state there is no (assumed wage), at least that I know of. Then again, if that's not a practice in your state, maybe you could just go out and get whatever job you can find and successfully land, and then go back and say"here's what I am capable of earning".
You can also negotiate to obtain full support while you obtain some vocational training which would enable you to work for higher pay (if your STBX has the ability to pay this amount). If you want to skip training/education and go right to work, you should be able to negotiate some reasonable period of time to find work and arrange for childcare.
Also, in my state you prepare a budget based on what you anticipate your living costs to be. Obviously, if your kids are not yet latchkey age (or the older ones can't yet babysit the young ones), then childcare expenses need to figure into your budget. And don't forget the increased cost of transportation to/from work and daycare as well as a clothing budget (if you need to shore up your wardrobe). It's my understanding that if your projected income doesn't cover your projected budget, then your STBX will be asked to make up the difference with spousal maintenance (& child support figures in there too) - but that is limited based upon the STBX's ability to pay. Although the lawyers I interviewed said that the court expects both parties to tighten their belts if/when your STBX doesn't have the ability to pay your shortfall.
In my state the length of time for spousal support is somewhat negotiable and depends on factors such as age of each spouse and number of years married, but it could be as long as 50% of the length of the marriage.
I interviewed a number of attorneys and got pretty consistent answers. Some charged me for the consult and others didn't. Maybe you should consider getting a second opinion by interviewing other potential attorneys (if you can find any who do a free consult).
Good luck.
I had planned on working after the divorce, but finding something I could do from home so I could be with the kids. But I don't think I can earn 2X minimum doing that.
STBX is the head manager of a large national company and has substantial income. He also was convicted of child abuse and I have sole custody of the kids. But my state is a liberal one (something I normally like about it) that is big on father's rights in family court, and there are strict laws in place about how much support I can get or for how long. That's my understanding, at least.
we're *almost* done with this divorce. It's taken 2 years so far! We're just arguing about the finances now and I'll finally be free. Maybe I should focus on that instead of worrying about the money.