I was doing pretty good, but lately I am back to being sad Its almost how I felt in the beginning. I don't think I feel sad about missing him, maybe just the person I thought he was. I think its a lot to do with I am feeling really alone. I know he has all his women so he is not feeling alone, and that is also making me sad. I really can't feel this way tomorrow once again we have the mediator meeting. The last two times, once because of her, and once because of him the meeting that I prepared myself emotionally for, did not take place. Once again I have to prepare myself to sitting down with him I need to be strong and not cry like I did last time in front of him. I really want to get out of this depression, I keep feeling like I will be alone for the rest of my life and I guess that is not a healthy way of thinking or even worrying about at this point.
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