Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Nick2017 03/04/2017

Hi All,

Many are victims of betrayal, abandonment, and rejection. It's a painful experience especially when you are hurt by the one you love and depend on the most. It is horrible. But there are remedies to these situations. Many people have gone through what you have and survived from it. I am trying to gather ideas and "succesful" remedies for these issues. So if you have any remedies, please post them here. Thank you.

I searching for them myself.

But I found the following help:

1. You are not worthless. And no one can make you feel that way. Only yourself can get you out of it.

2. If someone is making you feel that way and you still love that person, then you are masochist. You need to get out of it.

3. Find other supports, parties which you can depend on and truly want to help you.

4. Understand that maybe it's better this way.

5. Find things to do to regain your energy, spirit, and body.

6. Know your life is in your hands, no one else. You suffer because you accept to suffer.

7. Don't give scumbags a second or third chance to hurt you again.

Cora_Belle 03/04/2017

I would suggest the most effective remedy would be to refuse to identify as a "victim".

mirandac 03/04/2017

Abandonment issues can run deep often
Therapists are very helpful with that issue.

Betrayal and rejection have a life of their
Own. I think i am clear of them and here
They come at me again when i am getting
Triggered.

I am finally detached and that has Really
helped me along with no contact.

We need to heal our own inner wounds too.
Support groups, therapy and churches can
help, HUGS

Nick2017 03/04/2017

yes support groups. just talking to people who really want to help us is a big step towards healing.
I would say we are victims because if you look at the definition of victim "a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action. a person who is tricked or duped" that's fit the description. I don't think being a victim is a bad thing. Once we recognize it, we can seek help for it.

speechless1000 03/05/2017

I was a victim of a narcissist but I'm choosing to remain one. I'm trying every day to be no ones victim but it's hard whilst my heart refuses to listen to my brain :-(

solitary1 03/07/2017

I have been abandoned in a new place far from home where I moved to be with the man I love after he became sober after six years. I stood by him through so much hell. I thought things would be better without alcohol in the picture. Within three weeks he started to push me to work out. I was pretty busy trying to find work and stressing under the financial burden of the move. He replaced his addiction with fitness. While I agree that this would have been a great idea, perhaps he could have done it without attacking my ego. I am not fat. But this is what was intimated. Not directly said. He had no patience with me after all I had for him. This is not the only problem. It it is the one that chipped away at the core of our intimacy. Eight months later I am abandoned. In a strange city. Knowing no one. Feeling lost. I wish I didn't love him. I wish I never met him. I am paralyzed. I don't eat or sleep. I feel ill. I was a pretty happy go lucky person before this move. I know I put myself here. Maybe there was some other way I should have reacted to the loss of our intimate connection. I am an empath. I work with the sick everyday. It is in my nature. He may be a narcissist. In any case I feel like I am dying. I am not a young woman anymore. But it doesn't mean that I am not deserving of physical love and acceptance from my partner. He is over a year sober now. I feel like I am dying some days. A soul can only hold so much grief. I don't know where to put it.

Nick2017 03/07/2017

you are not alone . and your soul is much valued. Can u get out of this situation? it's terrible when we give ourselve to someone and that same person just push us to the grave. you r not alone there are people who value u for who u are. u need to search for what makes u happy and focus on that. do u work?

lily86 03/09/2017

Hello Nick.
First of all I think callIng someone with abandonment/rejection issues a "masochist" is a generalization. I was abandoned by the people who should've cared for me to the care of a narcissist when I was only a child. I speak from experience. Whenever I got into the type of relationship you speak of I wasn't looking to be hurt in order to feel pleasure. I just didn't have the right examples of healthy relationships when I was little so it took me a few failed relationships to get to the point of
1- letting go of any feelings of guilt or responsibility towards the people who abandoned/rejected me (since I was too little to even have a saying on anything)
2- realizing my feelings and my happiness are MY responsibility. So I don't need other people's approval to feel "good" and I can and should walk away from any unhealthy relationship.
I'm not a therapist. I know there's much more to this. Again I speak from my own experience.
What made me start realizing all this was a simple decision I made a while ago:
I decided to be happy.
After that it all slowly made sense to me. It takes strength and discipline to be happy but it's been worth it.

Loyal_100 03/09/2017

I myself am dealing with abandonment and maybe even rejection issues too... I have been with my kids father for 14 years and I supported him through everything in his life. I even stood by him when his grandmother disrespected me in every single way... But I got really sick a few years ago but last year it took its toll on me and my my mother moved in to help us with our 4 children. But my illness caused me not to be able to walk and to have severe nerve damage and pain throughout my body... After some failed treatments I ended up getting my foot worked on an a part of it amputated but through all of this I also lost my father too. And when I looked around and I needed the person that I loved the most to love me he left me! He hasn't been here for me at all... Then recently I found out that not only has he not been here for me and our children but he has been seeing someone else during my most difficult time in life as well... And many people may think Im crazy or stupid as well but I still do love him and its driving me crazy how he has done me... I don't feel like going on in my life most of the time. . I just sit around on my couch crying and begging God to take the hurt and pain away!

Nick2017 03/09/2017

sorry to hear loyal100... I feel your pain as I read your words. my mom died too recently and I need emotional support which I get none from my partner. luckily I got it from my son. sorry lily for using the word masochist,it is more of getting u angry and then fight for it ..not to put u down. I call it emotional addition ,,, no one wants to be a junky , in this case emotional junky... but it's real! it's all a chemical dependency too...and it is not with logic that we can recover from it but from real help ...and there should be concrete steps we can take to recover from this addition.

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