Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members

100,360 Posts

1 Online

jsmith010392 07/10/2018

I was recently doing so well these past two weeks. I have been able to live my life and really enjoy time with my friends. Today I received two texts from my ex who I have already told if you need to reach out to me, please email me and we can schedule something. He has not done so and did not want to meet up after everything.

The first text I did not see until later as I was working and the second text came an hour after. He wrote “Hey” then wrote “how’re you.” I finally replied and said “how can I help you today?” I am very bothered by the fact that he thinks it’s totally okay to reach out and act like everything with us is normally and it is not. He still did not reply after that. I was not trying to be rude but upfront. He did me really wrong and still has never owned up to everything by showing action or remorse. It’s still been about two months since we broke up

I’m now upset and bothered by this situation once again. I haven’t been able to sleep all night because of today’s events, that is NOT how you handle this problem. I sent him an email stating essentially if you need to reach out you can email me or say what you would like to discuss the first time ...not have a conversation for kicks and giggles.

I am once again in a really bad place and just want to rest now because of it. I’m annoyed and I have a fear to ever date anyone else again . I’ve been very stand-offish to all people who have been interested in me because I do not want to go down this road again. I honestly need better help. I’m exhuatsed and tired of these feelings.

Ghostwolf04 07/10/2018

I don't understand why some people still talk to their ex. You don't have kids together or shared bills, bank accounts, right? So why not block his number or change your number? You aren't responsible for him. "The only thing harder than walking away is not looking back." That quote isn't meant as an excuse, it is meant to show you how strong you are. Move forward.
I also had a manager once who told me "The best way to get over a man is to get under another." She was absolutely right. My ex told me that I would never be able to get anyone better than him, and for a long time I believed him. But after a breakup your goal shouldn't be to immediately jump into a relationship with some perfect man just to spite your ex or justify there is nothing wrong with you.
You should get back out dating to make you feel better and more normal. You can go out and socialize and date without being in a relationship. Most guys don't want to commit like that anyway.

cbgrace1980 07/10/2018

I am so sorry you are have a loss of peace right now. You are still fresh from the breakup and I know it was painful for him to text as if nothing had happened. I would be frustrated too! In time you will grow and this probably won't bother you as much. I like the boundary that you set: email me if you need something. When I was in your shoes, I did the same thing. It helped me feel more in control of my life. I hope that he will be open to communicating with you in the way that you feel safe. Hang in there!

jojored 07/10/2018

I believe you did the best thing, given the circumstances. You reminded him of your request to only communicate via email, you did not give in to his idle chit-chat. Keep it up. As the above post recommended, it might be good to block his number. He'd still be able to email you, right? Many time exs can't let go of a relationship. They either do outright things to maintain some inkling of contact like continuing to text, or underhanded things, like creating situations where you have to get in contact with them (for finances, kids, etc). It's sucky behavior either way.

Just remember your boundaries, remember that you are growing stronger each day, Each time you handle a bad situation in the proper manner, it's like you just won a 5K. Your goal is to fill your trophy shelf with great accomplishments.

Join the Conversation