Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I got to laughing (sarcastically to myself) that the only reason I feel okay giving advice sometimes and feel okay to post is because I've made SO many mistakes and did things I regret so many times, all I have to do is say,,, just do the opposite of everything I've done.I guess life experience is worth SOMETHING, even if just means that I can help someone else not screw up there lives... My stbx says I take to much blame for things and I shouldn't put it all on me, but all I can see is my own mistakes and things I wish I could change. Other days I see clearly and remember WHY I felt like I did in the marriage, and it was valid for me to be upset. In fact many people I know say they wouldn't have lasted as long as I did. I wish my perception was true and clear so I can stop running this stuff through my head! I want to learn from it and move on, not just regret...
Posted on 06/23/11, 08:50 am
Posted on 06/23/11, 08:50 am
i think your whole post is about you learning and moving on - every day you move further away from it. you seem to understand yourself pretty well - talking things thru and sorting them out in your head and on a support board is a good thing.
i think most of us just see what we did wrong - i know i do - i see what he did wrong but i cant do anything about that. i focus on what i can learn from what i did - and thats what you are doing. its hard to find the balance of being compassionate to ourselves on the journey tho.
i dont know that i regret it - i dont think i do. maybe i did at one time. there were lots of things that arent pleasant to remember - but thats just part of the process. i feel richer for having been married to matt - at the very least it got me to a place where i can really look at me and learn to accept me - flaws and all.
best of luck to you. go easy on yourself.