Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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Background, Well-functioning, happy wife, and 30 years of marriage. We decided to move closer to the beach, came into a difficult market and she suffered crippling depression and anxiety resulting in hospitalization and 7 different rentals or places with family. Some delusions and much dysfunctional behavior disturbing not only me (husband) but children, friends, and other family. Under care (psychiatrist, psychologist, and life coach), but does not talk easily in therapy and is skeptical about medication. Frequently talks about what she used to do and says I want to go back. Brain MRI was read as normal and blood work is good. Her sister used to have serious anxiety but is now doing well.
We just moved into a new home but that has not settled down and has periodic delusions about people monitoring her along with general anxiety and periodic panic attacks.
She has developed a sort of addictive personality, I bought a large package of cheese from Costco and found in 2 days she ate almost the whole thing, asks for ice cream, sleeps 10-12 hours per day, showers only periodically. Doctor just prescribed Ativan for strategic use and I saw she took a large part of the bottle in a week constantly sleeping.
Proposals
I think a good start should be reframing habits.
1. Dress She walks around in her underwear and we do not have window-coverings in some areas yet.
2. Cleaning I'd like to get her to do dishes, but she will say she will do them, but nothing happens. Leave her clothes on the floor.
3. Shopping We need some furniture for the house, but her depression seems to stop her from looking
4. Self-sufficency She wants me around 24/7. We were at a rental, I said I get breakfast, the place said the food would be ready in about 15 minutes, so I took a leisurely walk. Came back and the waitress said your wife called twice, indicating it was urgent and she was looking for me. She started walking a mile in 90 degree weather just because there was a small wait.
Note before this happened, she was happy, got amazingly good reviews at work for 3 decades, and was a supportive wife and mother.
Suggestions welcome.
It sounds as if she is going through a major mental health/substance dependency crisis if she is taking that much Ativan and sleeping/eating that much and having delusions.
I would suggest having her fill out a PHQ-9, and a GAD-7, then take those forms with you to a doctor appointment.
https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/1725/phq9-patient-health-questionnaire9
https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/1727/gad7-general-anxiety-disorder7
She needs professional help. If you can't get into a dr within a few days, take her to an emergency room. She may need to be hospitalized.
Good luck.
1. She had a good counseling session, but then went it comes time to implement recommendations, organize a schedule, etc, she doesn't do that.
2. I am on a related OCD help board and she has a lot of signs of that though psychiatrists have also diagnosed general anxiety disorder.
3. Agreed she has to want it, but seems to many times. She constantly says she wants to go back to her old life but doesn't seem to take the steps to do that.