I'd love some hints on my current problem:

Backstory: My ex and I broke up our emotionally harrowing 5 year relationship about 6 months ago, which was def the right move. She was brutally controlling, to the point that I didn't get to hang out with my old friends and I basically lost touch with them all, started living like a hermit, only interacting with my lady. We hadn't had sex for a long time, we drank a little too much (usually seperately -- me in my man cave and her in the TV room), and we basically stayed out of each other's way, eventually sleeping in separate beds for the last year+. We argued a lot, and really no longer had anything in common, except for living in the same [small!] city apartment. So we broke it off, I moved to a nearby suburb of the city with a good friend and started a new healthier life. I've even started to do a social thing here and there, but def still shell-shocked and kinda living like a hermit. After zero contact since the breakup, I recently joined OK Cupid.

I went on my first date (since the breakup) a week ago -- dinner, movie, then drinks, lots of talking and laughing. Afterward we agreed we'd like to go out again. Over the next several days we continued the flirty texting we had been doing leading up to the date, and it was all good. Then there was four days of crickets... nothing... I know better than to continue messaging her, the ball is in her court. But after a few more days I'd still heard nothing. So I am assuming I blew it, maybe I seemed too thirsty or whatever. Oops.

But she is often on my mind, especially given how well we clicked, and given the frequency and of our flirty chatting before, during, and after the date. I would've at least liked a message like, "Had a great time, but I think we're not a good fit," or something so I don't have to keep dwelling on it. I am fully aware that if someone else were relating this to me, I'd say, "Dude, relax. You're just getting started again. It's going to take time to even figure out what you want. Find something else to do and chill out." I get it, but this time I'm seeing it from the inside. I know I'm not insane or anything, but I do need some perspective.

Also, I know this isn't really about what's going on with this date lady and me, but more with my fixation on the idea of a new relationship. I admit that it's mildly unhealthy that she's on my mind so much, but maybe still within normal parameters. I was always really relaxed in relationships and not too thinky, but that seems to have changed. Hopefully it's temporary.

Any hints?

Are there any books I should read about how to get my act together again?