I know exactly how you feel, I was married for 23 years. Thought if he got the affairs out of his system, it would be ok. I cried for months so I have lived what you are going through. Even though it doesn't seem like it, it will get better. Sending you peace through this difficult time.

Thank you JewelB. So sorry to hear you had to go through so much pain too. Glad to hear from you and love the kind words.

I'm so sorry. I know that it can be difficult especially during this time of year. I will keep you in my prayers. Consider counseling too. It may help. Can't hurt.

You are welcome Joe, have a good evening

Joe it seems like an epidemic. Married 25 years here and wife had affair with my best friend. We are trying to figure it out, just don't know how to get past everything. I have been devasted for months now. Just trying to better myself and get prepared for my future. Seems like every movie glorifies infidelity and divorce is the easy answer. I have started reading anything and everything that is positive and makes me feel good. The aloneness I have experienced has brought me closer to God than I have ever been. I want to rely on myself for happiness now, not my spouse. I still cry, have panic attacks and the occasional mental breakdown, but I am getting better. How on earth did you get over the past affairs? I always said I would say adios if she strayed, but now I understand why people stay, but multiple times would be it for me. The pain I have gone through is too much to go through again. The intrusive thoughts kill me and I really have to refocus on Gods goodness to get me through it. I hope you find some peace soon.

what really helped me to divorce my ex-wife after 32 years, coincidentally, was to finally realize that who she is is not who I thought she was.

She played a role that successfully kept me from knowing what crappy behavior she was doing.

I call it her "Susie Creamcheese" act.

To most people she was acting like a good wife and daughter, so very wholesome.

In reality? A lying, deceptive whoring betrayer. She used me for finances and cover story to her true nature. Disgusting and evil person.

Once I accepted that she was not as she presented, but was what she hid?

Easy as pie to dump her.

One affair, which results in the person coming to terms with what's driving their behavior and a realization that they want to recommit to their marriage is one thing.

Multiple affairs is quite another. It's narcisstic. It's all about her desire to be desired -- a flame addiction.

She's not capable of being able to love another -- only herself.

You need to grasp that the person you love is an illusion. The person you married doesn't respect you. She uses you and takes advantage of you and lies and cheats and deceives.

I'm in the same boat as you. Married 25 years, now in the process of divorce.

Read chumplady.com. She tells it straight in a very sarcastic funny way. It will help you process it.

If you can, find someone to date. It doesn't need to be serious. Just someone to focus your attention and get a little attention back.

It gives me hope to read about men going through the same shit as me. To know there are men capable of real love and faithfulness. And that maybe someday I'll meet and fall in love with a man like that.

Have you sought out professional counseling? In the long term counseling might benefit both of you, but in the near-term counseling for yourself would seem to be an urgent necessity.

Yes having a therapist has been good for moral for me. It is devastating - I think you are entitled to every emotion you have now. good luck!