Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
1. The Optimist There is usually a limited amount to go around. The lawyer who breaks the bad news may not be hired. Instead, lawyers present a rosy picture and let the bad news come after the legal fees have been paid.
2. The four way meetings. Divorce clients like to see what is happening and four way meetings happen. Since the client is watching, concilatory gestures are rare and the lawyer who provides them thought of as weak and inexperienced. Usually threats and trash-talking by the lawyers inflame the situation, like the public pronouncements in the budget talk. When the money runs out, the lawyers try to resolve the issues privately.
3. Constant calls. Lawyers charge for everything. Talk about the stress of divorce, scheduling problems, how the Yankees are doing, you get billed. While they do not overbill, lawyers bill for every call. Since complains are frequent, experienced lawyers keep meticulous bills anticipating a challenge months or years before it occurs.
4. Legal research by clients Being informed makes sense. However diorce litigants research this way- they disregard the cases that don't help,
and just rely upon that which reinforced their position. Since the other sides does the same, you don't have knowledge people but biased ones
5. That damn other lawyer both lawyers create discord but your lawyer will blames the other one as will she. .
2. The four way meetings. Divorce clients like to see what is happening and four way meetings happen. Since the client is watching, concilatory gestures are rare and the lawyer who provides them thought of as weak and inexperienced. Usually threats and trash-talking by the lawyers inflame the situation, like the public pronouncements in the budget talk. When the money runs out, the lawyers try to resolve the issues privately.
3. Constant calls. Lawyers charge for everything. Talk about the stress of divorce, scheduling problems, how the Yankees are doing, you get billed. While they do not overbill, lawyers bill for every call. Since complains are frequent, experienced lawyers keep meticulous bills anticipating a challenge months or years before it occurs.
4. Legal research by clients Being informed makes sense. However diorce litigants research this way- they disregard the cases that don't help,
and just rely upon that which reinforced their position. Since the other sides does the same, you don't have knowledge people but biased ones
5. That damn other lawyer both lawyers create discord but your lawyer will blames the other one as will she. .
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
A lawyer that you consult and hire is there to present your case to your best interests. If you truly believe what you wrote above, then you would not have a good working relationship with an attorney that would represent you in separation/divorce and some attorneys may not take your case because you may not be a good client to work with. You know little about attorneys. Ive worked with them all my life.
Some clients are old fashioned and cannot accept that laws are moving forward to fast track cases to get them moving through the system. If you get a party that is resistant and hard headed, it doesnt usually go so well for them in divorce because its better to try to compromise.
I had to do mediation with my attorney, my ex and his attorney in the room with a two man mediation panel. There was no floor show by the attorneys and its not supposed to be. It was a mediation to resolve items that my ex would not address prior to appearing before the judge. Unfortunately my ex was a jerk and still would not address or agree to anything even with the mediation panel. So the mediation panel (yes, they were two attorneys that did divorce mediation) took it to the judge and the judge held a hearing right then. The judge talked to my ex, my ex got angry and abusive and the judge was very unhappy with him. Things got settled to my satisfaction, my ex was so angry and thats the way the cookie crumbles. You dont want to compromise and you piss off the judge, then you can expect the judge to consider that when he decides the outcome of furniture and other items.
I have experienced clients that call just about every day. Other clients dont call unless there is a problem. You are billed for telephone calls so your bill is higher if you want to call your attorney to talk about sports games. I dont recommend it and its really adverse to processing your case and getting it through to divorce.
Actually the attorneys will research unusual items they are not sure of or if there is a peculiar situation in your case that would change your case in some way. If your attorney fails to research and you are compromised somehow in the case because of that, you probably would sue the attorney for malpractice for not researching that.
Actually, the attorneys dont create discord, the clients have already created discord and that is why they seek an attorneys help and in turn, the courts help.
Grasshopper, you have much to learn.
AsTimeGoesBy is living in a fantasy world lol.
The lawyers main job is to maiximise their own paycheck!!
I fully understood the terms of the Retainer Agreement I signed and also had a very clear understanding of how the billing would be handled. Having also worked in a large law office at one point in my career, I was able to do a lot of the investigative, paralegal and document prep work in my case which saved me substantial billing.
I stand 100% with the statements made by AsTimeGoesBy and typically find that those who bad-mouth attorneys didn't get what they thought they should in their own divorce. I call it "Sour Grapes."
Complaining about it does no good. Action is required ON YOUR PART if you are seeking equity in your negative experience.
So, Cowgirl, you were lucky, but If you are on the east coast, I live in NY, send me a name....
As far as divorce attorneys go -- they can't get blood out of turnips. If there are no assets, nobody will come out with any money. If there are more DEBTS than assets, both parties will share in the debt load post divorce. And if there is insufficient income, neither party will get alimony. It's as simple as that.
The key to finding a good attorney for YOUR particular situation is to KNOW THE LAW in your state (plenty of resources online for that) and to know what your financial picture is. That's just for starters. Then you have to ask around -- ask other people who have gotten divorced; find out who they used. Then, when you interview an attorney, ask them about their track record (wins/losses; ability to negotiate out-of-court settlements). The LAST thing you want is to go to trial in divorce. IF your attorney is a successful negotiator, you can get things settled outside of trial. Attorneys don't WANT to go to trial -- it's expensive and time consuming and in most cases, isn't really necessary.
Twig, I live in Maryland and most attorneys here aren't licensed to practice law that far away. Even if they did, their travel time would eat up anything you would hope to get in a divorce settlement. Your best bet is for you and your H to reach a financial agreement by yourselves and then hire an attorney to file the paperwork to get you a final divorce decree. No litigation required. Shouldn't run more than a few hundred dollars.
I also called my attorney for every little thing. I learned quickly not to do that.
There are good and bad in all professions. I don't think it's fair to paint a broad brushstroke on all attorneys anymore than it is fair to say all doctors, nurses, teachers, etc. are bad.
I'm sorry some have had bad experiences with their attorneys. I didn't; I would use my attorney again.
As to 1-800 Lifenet, their own site states they are helping callers with psychiatric assistance. They may have felt you were kidding them in calling them and asking about attorneys. Below is from their site:
"LIFENET assists people who are experiencing a crisis. LIFENET has authorized linkages with the 23 mobile crisis teams and Emergency Medical Services (EMS). This unique, life-saving authority allows LIFENET to provide a prompt response to callers in urgent need of psychiatric assistance."
Darkenedheart, I have worked for some very large law firms and have dealt with far more attorneys that you have unless you have workied for law firms too. An attorney's job is to represent the clients. In working through the years, they and other works in other fields will maximize their paychecks and people work to get money to pay their own bills, to raise families and to food on the table. Been there, done that. Raises are part of working.
Attorneys are responsible to the State Bar Association of each state and they must keep their time in a manner that is acceptable to the State Bar and the State regulations set forth regarding attorneys.
In many states and perhaps mosts states, the attorneys also do free legal advice and take cases pro bono (where they handle cases for only the costs and in many cases they even waive the costs). They do this for the low income/no income clients and those clients have to go through the pro bono program.
If you are not happy with the services of your attorney, take your evidence and file a complaint with the State Bar Association. They are excellent at handling these matters and have disbarred attorneys.
Again, because you have come up against an attorney you believe is bad, does not make them all bad. Just because they come up against a client who is bad, does not made them all bad.