Im sorry for your situation, definitely been through that myself.

Ok ignore the first message from the witch doctor lol

I have learned that some people just love drama. They thrive on it. Same with anger. I had to leave a relationship with a narcissist because it just got exhausting to constantly walk on egg shells, never knowing when the next time would be when he would go off over nothing or embarrass me in public. I had to get out. It killed me. Took me a long time to get over it as when he was nice, he was great but when he was mad he is scary.

Sounds like you might need to get out of that situation. It isn't just affecting you but your kids. I wish you nothing but the best. Here if you need a friend

I think if you look harder, you'll find he has anger issues with others too. It's really easy to take anger out on people at home, but I'd be surprised if others didn't think he was a "douche canoe" too. The guy at the bar. Probably the slow cashier at the market, the other guy on the road, his boss, his co-workers are also victims of his inability to control his emotions and perhaps lack of empathy for people. They can shrug off his bad temper, you can't because you live it.

As far as being a stay at home mom, agreed, it makes things harder. He'll have child support and alimony obligations, and you'll have to find work. Reach out to social services agencies in your town or county, they often have services for people re-entering the work force. Take things one day at a time. You sound strong, you'll get things together.

Oh my goodness! Just reading this now! Are you and the kids ok, physically? Of course that is my number one concern! I'm sure none of you are ok emotionally, with the yelling and throwing of things. Sounds like he's in crisis and needs help (not the kind found at a bar, either). Is there a counselor involved? I used to call my ex 'Jekyll and Hyde'-we later learned he developed a bi-polar disorder. Meanwhile, if you cannot get help for him while in the home, one of you may need to leave-for safety's sake. Not sure of what your situation is (rent, own etc) but I do know there are resources available to you. Even if it's a mental health crisis, it will be viewed as domestic violence. Most cities/regions have safe homes for the woman and kids, as well as resources to help you out until you get on your feet. (I was a stay at home mom too, when we had to flee). Who do you have in your immediate geographic area that is a support to you? Praying for safety for you all!

Hope you and your kids are okay.

Hi everyone! Yes me and the kids are okay. It is just a lot of emotional stress to deal with. I already have PTSD from a traumatic family loss and any additional drama and bs doesn’t help it. Considering what I have been through I think I handle it quite well which he complains that inwalk away or take time to myself and don’t say anything to anyone. I wish he would get more educated on how bad this can be. So all of you can understand. 3-1/2 yrs ago my sister and her 4 children were murdered by someone who was out to seek revenge against her new husband. I had to break the bad news to all of my family that day, my children, and I will never forget the scream my mother let out before she dropped to her knees. Standing outside the house as the fire was just put out and hearing her neighbors talking and crying and saying how they could hear them screaming but no one could get to them to help and the fire department was too late. It isn’t something I can just get over or that will ever leave me because I wake everyday and they are gone. That being said I have done everything I can do, therapy, medication temporarily and I apply coping skills each and everyday of my life. I wake and I’m productive, I work part time while going to school. I do my best to put one foot in front of the other, I don’t complain and say poor me because I know that life has changed and that I have had to find a new way to live this life. I don’t feel that I’m doing anything wrong by stepping away for the time I need to regroup. That day plays in my head like a record at times and it’s hard to make it stop so I go craft or something to dedicate my undivided attention to so I can try and side track the bad memory. I just want to be happy. I gave him a choice to go to therapy and laid it out today. That there is a 6 month deadline in this, progress better be shown in the first couple months or it’s a deal breaker and I walk. I was never a weak person in my life and I don’t want to start now. I have a life to live and loved ones memories to honor.

Some people seem to have a natural proclivity towards chaos. If a situation is too calm or relaxed they subconciously find a reason to cause trouble. They probably had a chaotic enviroment as a kid, so that is what they consider the norm.

After reading your post and response, I think you know what the best decision to make is. Continue to go to therapy and if things don't improve or if things improve but then go back to the way they were, then I think your best decision is to walk away. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through, especially the trauma of losing your sister and her family. I can only imagine what kind of pain you have been through. Just hang in there and know that you are not alone. And whatever you do, don't hold onto the relationship just because it's been so long. I believe you can view every experience in life as a learning lesson and use what you learned to know what you want and don't want in the future. Good luck with everything and if there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate to reach out.

You're fabulous! The thing I never did well is what you're doing, which is to give consequences for behaviors (no progress in 6 months, walk). Otherwise, you just enable bad behavior from the other person. Kudos to you!

You have absolutely no reason to explain why you need "me" time to your partner. He is an idiot if he can't understand. Or has no empathy.

So sorry for your traumatic loss.

I am so sorry. My daughter is in a similar situation-just silent treatment instead of anger. It is hard to counsel her. Have you considered, or are you able to seek some counseling? That and reading books on relationships really helped me.