Lost, I'm sorry you find yourself here. Do you have any children? How far away will your husband be moving and will he be living in a different state?

I agree with you, if he is struggling, why is he doing this? That makes no sense.

Have you tried to get him to go to marriage counseling?

I'm sorry that you are going through this. The pain of losing someone that you still love and spent so much time with is indescribable.

My STBX and I tried to work on our marriage, but in the end he gave up. He said he wasn't happy anymore. It sucks because it's a marriage. It's supposed to be through thick and thin, but they give up so easily because of their own selfishness.

I'm praying that things get better for us here on this site. Seeing a therapist for myself does help a lot and is slowly improving my self esteem.

Yes, he will be moving to another state, about 6 hours away. We don't have children, so at least it's just me having to deal with this. I have begged him to try counseling, but he says he just needs to do this. Then he says stuff like, "you know, you never know what can happen. Sometimes people who get divorced find their way back to each other." This gives me hope, but then at the same time makes me upset. It's like trying to put me in a holding pattern. You can't leave me and expect me to "wait and see". Ugh!!

I'm going to try a therapist, myself...I do hope it helps you, feeling_lost. At least we all have each other

Yeah he's trying to keep you on the back burner..screw that. And as painful as it sounds don't be shocked if he has someone all lined up. It's rare to just bail on a marriage to be single. Usually it's someone waiting in the wings. Don't get caught in the false hope trap. Be thankful you don't have kids with him. Read the Breakup recovery guide online, it helped me a lot. My ex wife gave me the whole "I need to be alone speech" it was all bullshit. She left me and our daughter. Thankfully she must've been wracked with guilt cause she left me the house lol, I have over 220K in equity now..! She can have her boytoy I got the kids and the house. So who won?

I agree with the others. You can't still love and care for somebody but decides to leave 'em. It's not love. If you're not happy but still love 'em, you stay and work on things. There will be ups and downs in all kinds of relationships, especially marriage. You don't get to leave just because things get hard or you are bored with your life.
it's just like feeling_lost said..it's supposed to be through thick and thin..

Hang in there, He was the one who left, you've done your part, you've tried to fight, to fix things, but if he still doesn't want to stay, then let him go.

"At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It's not like you're giving up, and it's not like you shouldn't try. It's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be."