I'm in the same boat. I feel like how much more can I take. Why can't I be happy? This feeling of loneliness is horrible. I'm sorry you have this feeling as well, I always quickly think of my son when I go into a dark place. I don't know if you have kids,. I'm hoping this gets better!!

What pain have you caused? Somewhere deep down you know your life is worth living and that is a good thing! There are good people that do bad things. I have forgiven my ex for the lies and cheating. Deep down he is a good person who did bad things, and more importantly, hopefully he learned from his mistakes. If you made bad mistakes, start making amends. Start looking at what you did and what can you do to learn from what you did. Can you apologize and explain?

there are people that you love
there are people that love you
they may not be the same

if you pull the trigger, you'll give all of them a parting gift of pain, you'll be gone, but you'll leave them to carry that pain

i understand how bleak life can be, but what is written above is reality
you can draw strength from the knowledge that you keep making the choice to put the gun down

put it down

I did put it down, but wish I didn't, the ones I love and care about have pushed me away since then so the pain and empty heart is on me, so with that being said if I pulled the trigger it would have been no loss to anyone else, I failed at failing, so to me nothing else matters I lost everything already, there is nothing left for me, the lowest I can go is death and I damn near there now as being alone knowing no one cares is not what I want, as I don't wanna be in pain and cause anyone one else pain as if I could anyway.

You may feel like they are pushing you away, but I prefer to believe that they are pushing you to get help. And if you did follow through, you would cause pain to people you love. Is that truly what you want to do? You need to talk to a suicide hotline sooner than later. You need to believe that your life is worth living. As far as I know, you don't have a crystal ball showing you what your life wil be in 2 years, 5 years, 1o years. Maybe that crystal ball would show you in 10 years a happily married man with a little boy and a little girl calling him daddy. If you are not here, the endless opportunities that are in your future disappear. You have to have faith!

I've been on a path of destruction for the last 8 yrs, I have kids who don't bother with me and when I call them their mother hangs up and my last relationship she had 2 girls I raised for last 3 yrs so yes I had that life , it never works so no the future don't hold shit for me, why would I wanna hurt anyone else, best I could do is disappear, so everyone will better off I got nothing, list everything and no future to look forward to

I will repeat myself...Do you have a crystal ball? You can see into the future, because that's what it sounds like you are saying. If you cannot see into the future, then you have no idea i how many wonderful things will come your way. Do not live in the past. We can't change history, we can't change people, we can only control what we do, say, believe. Today is Day 1 of believing in yourself and making this the first day of becoming a better, healthier, happier you. Once you start believing in yourself, others will follow. I repeated the phrase, "better and better every day", and "better and better in every way", for over 1 hour a couple months ago. I had to keep repeating it so that I would eventually believe it. Stay positive!

Take it from the one my alcoholic husband is hurting, this is not the answer. You'll do more harm and hurt than you can imagine. Whatever you have done wrong, make it right. Give your loved ones a chance to love you, and not avoid you to avoid getting hurt.

still comes down to spreading pain or not

I read thie responses and I get it, I am doing much better, but my loved one still want nothing to do with me

keep on plugging man, some of your loved ones will wake up

Sorry you feel that way. Seek professional help. We are not perfect human beings. God Bless.

I am dealing with this with professionals, I am currently in rehab for alcoholism and have a plan when I get out I got things and apps line up to work on my head for emotions and communicating and ptsd from the miltary, so I'm working on me and trying to stay positive

It takes courage to pour out your heart and feel your feelings. Thank you for sharing. We all have regrets but there will be no progress if we are focused on the past. I've made horrible choices but I need to move on and focus on my future. My healthier future. One day at a time. One moment at a time. I wish you the best. It's progress not perfection. Hugs.

You could get any woman, especially when you overcome the alchoholism. They'll flock to you. Good job for checking into rehab. A lot of people don't do that and just continue the vicious cycle. Give yaself a pat on the back for that. It's proof you're definetly worth something to this world. I'm sure one day you will make a special woman very happy. And you're only 40. You're not an old geezer! You've got plenty of your life to live lots of future ahead to make a positive life for yourself.