Try studding Buddhist philosophy. It has worked wonders for me. You don't have to bye into the religious part, But there other stuff on peace and emotional management is wonderful.

I hate mine too, more than I ever would like to, but I know it won't always be like that. I am 8 months in and I do feel like I am finally getting past it. At least it is not as intense...THANK GOD!!!! You will get there, just give it time. You need and deserve that.

Nurture yourself. FInd htings that help you find peace. Make a list and go to that list.

find outlets for the rage.

work out

cook

go for a walk

volunteer

something - ANYTHING - just get it out and work through it don't allow it to sit within you. Although perfectly normal, that rage is ultimately more destructive to YOU. Now is the time to TAKE CARE OF YOU. Don't let the rage monster eat you alive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXG83p2nkHw

therapy and meds, really good meds

Get it into your mind that (as I always say):
All dogs don't go to heaven.
Karma is a bitch.
Know that God has a plan.

Also take that rage and turn the effort onto yourself. Transform yourself into an individual. If you work on making him eat his heart out the next thing you know you'll forget he's supposed to be eating his heart out because you'll feel so good about yourself.

Just think; who are you without him? Don't know? Find out. Personaly, I changed my way of dress to a way that made me feel comfortable and confident. I dropped a few pounds got a new hairdo. I went out and bought pretty underwear and pampered myself with girlie stuff. The next time he saw me he was angry because the woman I had become was the woman he always wanted me to be.

you have to get all that anger out some how. lots of great suggestions here and some I know I used. If physcial activity doesnt work then maybe you just need to scream, yell and vent over and over again with words or writing to get what is bothering you out.

It can be frustrating to just have to take what was dished to us and go about our merry way to move on with life.

The anger takes longer to go away than the rage. Hopeully, when you ruly go on with your life you won't have the will to hate him. Wish him well and you both go on with your lives from there.

http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/forgiveness.htm

I vent in diff ways; such as, Hitting a punching bag until the rage is gone, run, read watch a movie play my guitar. I would suggest Finding a hobbie something you always have wanted to do... Do it.

You remind yourself every day that you are better than whatever it is that is making you upset.

I grab my axe & go split some firewood. REALLY cathartic when you're super angry, and you're using it productively!

I have found that learning to channel your rage and anger into other emotions helps.

Buddhism again (ps. I'm christian... but hey...)

First, recognize the rage.
Then, realize that the rage doesn't hurt him, it only hurts you.
Last, choose to not have the rage.

This works for most negative emotions for me. THe only two that it doesn't seem to work for is the hurt, and the missing of my stbx.

I also thought I'd never get past hating him, but I have. I found that it was more important to me to live my life focusing on making it a great one for ME, than wasting my time being angry. Don't worry, you'll get there.