Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm sitting here in my empty house. I have to come back "home" every 2 weeks for one of my sons to turn in work at school. (independent study) Then the kids stay with their Dad for a few days. I normally stay with a friend while I'm up here but I wanted to bring my dog this time so we could go play at the lake or in the mountains. I have a huge fenced in yard for the dog and most of my friends have cats. I also thought I could use some quiet time.
It's amazing how many memories are in a house that has nothing but a desk, computer and mattress on the floor. It's so completely quiet and empty. It sort of reminds me of how I feel. I'm getting the feeling I shouldn't do this anymore. (duh)
I haven't been thinking about my stbx hardly at all this past week, but being here brings it all to the front again. I'm not thinking of how good we had it. I'm thinking how I could go from owning my own business and buying my own home and raising my kids and being happy as a clam ... to sitting in an empty house with nothing. Seriously, I don't know how it happened. Did he come into my life to destroy it? Did I destroy it? How am I supposed to build a new one again at my age? I have so many questions running through my head and not one answer.
It's amazing how many memories are in a house that has nothing but a desk, computer and mattress on the floor. It's so completely quiet and empty. It sort of reminds me of how I feel. I'm getting the feeling I shouldn't do this anymore. (duh)
I haven't been thinking about my stbx hardly at all this past week, but being here brings it all to the front again. I'm not thinking of how good we had it. I'm thinking how I could go from owning my own business and buying my own home and raising my kids and being happy as a clam ... to sitting in an empty house with nothing. Seriously, I don't know how it happened. Did he come into my life to destroy it? Did I destroy it? How am I supposed to build a new one again at my age? I have so many questions running through my head and not one answer.
Maybe it's normal to wonder such things during transitions in our lives. It's funny how the negative thoughts can win if we allow.
I was getting my work vehicle serviced the other day and the owner is a guy of 71. He was talking about his new girlfriend and all their plans. The guys eyes just lit up talking about her and his new life. I could see he was happy and thankful. He had been alone for years after losing his wife. I guess I'm just saying we're never to old to recapture.
Hugs to you
the only thing standing between it and us...is...
us
I think you have to partition the overall goal into smaller pieces in order to tackle it. This is just my opinion but if we continue to try and understand what went wrong it will only rob us of what needs to be done.
Tomorrow I'll go back to my new home and keep working at rebuilding a new life. If I can just get through today in one piece...
SO excellent TML!! MANY people here get stuck in that, and sometimes I think it's just a big procrastination tool.
There's a point where the analyzing and over thinking has to stop.
If you are anything like me, when I go back to the house and I look around at "what was" it smacks me in the face like someone throwing water in my face.......the smells, the sounds, your mind starts to race. It's like going back to the scene of the crime and you start reliving the past, it seems all too surreal.
And easy for me to say, "stop looking in the rear mirror".....there's not a day that goes by where I have to try and stop myself from feel sorry for myself at what was and how the hell am I going to rebuild @ my age. :(
I think you're right about the house TML. I need to get this place rented out so I can't come back here anymore. I do so much better when I'm not here. I don't do great with emotions anyway. I tend to let my head do most of the work in my life. This morning my emotions were so strong I couldn't hear my head so I got out of here where I could hear it again. Basically it told me I don't even want my old life back. I seriously wouldn't give my stbx another chance if he wanted one. I can see things very clearly and know what happened and realize it would have happened eventually and I'm better off without him. If I can just keep the emotions in check I'll be fine.
You guys are right. It wasn't a fluke that I built a life for myself before. I can do this again. Hopefully better than the last one I had.
At any age!
I don't understand how someone could be so heartless as to clean someone out while they're away and leave a sleeping bag on the floor. That's just sick. it doesn't even matter what her reasons were for leaving. I personally think you're better off having a person who could do that out of your life.
(((HUGS)))
The judge slammed him for it.
*Sigh*...
God i can SO relate to what you wrote about your life just going "poof" up in the air.
I know this may sound like a cliche, but your kids are truly a blessing.... Wonderful rewards of your marriage, regardless of everything else that's happened.
You will get thru this, but It will be hard when you're in that house & thinking about all the losses.
Are there any other options...?
****(((HUGS)))****