Over the years when we have had struggles in our relationship, and there have been many, I tried to first put myself in his shoes and see his point of view. Sometimes I could then see where I was contributing to the problems and then we could work things out.

Looking back, he could rarely do that for me and would never think to do that on his own. And since we separated I have had to point out to him over and over why I feel the way I do and what it is he is doing to me with his actions and he just can't do it. I want him to take a walk in my shoes.

I am writing this on here so I do not say it to him again (as much as I want to do that). That'd be beating a dead horse anyhow.

What I want to say to him, but won't:

"Dude,
You still apparently cannot put yourself in my shoes and grasp how your choices have affected me. You spend more and more of your evenings and weekends gone playing music, with a growing number of groupies following you everywhere you go. Since you left that has clearly increased. I did not get married to spend most of my free time alone.

And I do wonder if the shoe was on the other foot and there were men following me to everything I do and putting it all over facebook and taking photos of me and that I was reciprocating that attention, how you would feel. I am pretty sure you would have flipped your lid.
Of course though you know that is not the kind of wife I am.

As you tell me you love me and care about me and want to see me.
Yeah, I don't think so."

Thanks for reading this. I just need to get it out of me so I don't contact him again.