Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Pure evil

Jgarc
Jgarc
Hi everyone,

My background story.
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3039556/journal/6564780

I posted about a week ago about how great I had been feeling, moving on with my life. It has only been 4 months since the ex husband left. and I have been doing great by having not contact.

Its been a whole week since he has been emailing me , telling me how wants to talk, telling me that he does not want to end things in bad terms, he wants us to end as two people who care for one another. In my head, it sounded amazing!!! That was all i had begged him to do for the first two months, to sit and talk to me and just end things in a peaceful way.

We were suppose to meet tomorrow. about 10 min ago, he wrote these exact same ways.

"sorry cnt meet tomorrow. goodnight. I am Ok with ending things like this"

How am i suppose to react to this? I am not crazy to get upset right? All he wanted to do was to play mind games. He will never change. Never.

I am not looking back, I might have taken a step back, but it helps to know that person you married is a complete sociopath, only out to hurt you .It helps you realize life will be so much better with out them.
ALD13072
ALD13072
When I read his response to you I literally gasp out loud and started to cry. I am not a violent person, but man do I wish I could punch him in the throat!
I am so sorry he did this to you. You do deserve so much better!
(((((Hugs))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would vent it all in a diary, tell him off in your journal, then breath, and let it go. Believe it or not, it probably saved you some sorrow and some drama. Wether from you or from him, these things are messy and hurtful and complicated as all get out. I am sorry he lied and has disregaurded you continually and your feelings. But, I am thankful that he is not harassing you, moved out and left you with a chance to heal, now you just have to vent it and let it breath. HUGS
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry you've been treated this way. And no, you're not crazy at all. He was completely messing with your emotions. Try to take something positive from this - the more you see of his true colors, the more you can sever your emotional ties to him. Keep your chin up - you're going to be just fine.
BlueKnight69
BlueKnight69
Right on ALD...it is difficult to not want to hurt people who hurt but he has to live his life and it must be miserable...Jgarc, never buy into that he is better than you or is happier or anything dealing with him anymore.

You are strong. You have made it through the fire so now it is time to start feeling good again. Focus on you and don't look back because not only have you already seen that view, you lived it as well and you don't need to anymore. You deserve better!!!!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry J. STBX did just about the same thing to me. These games they play are just mean and cruel. I certainly don't want someone like that in my life. Do you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't be hurt, be angry. Anger is a God given emotion and does have it's purposes. When I think back at all the shit my ex-wife pulled on me for 10 years it makes me angry. Guess what, then I don't miss her. I'm not saying to stay angry forever, but it can be a shot of novicaine(sic) for a broken heart. Sometimes when people show their true colors, we can be happy that we don't have to put up with them anymore.
wiggywango
wiggywango
Hi Jgarc,

I read your background story and aside from the cheating, your ex is just like mine. Do yourself a big favour and pick up the book "men who hate women and the women who love them". It will blow you away and you will see your ex in whole new light. If you do identify with that book, let me know and I'll refer you to another one that will help you understand yourself better and give you the tools to never pick another one like him. Seriously, read it. You won't believe it.
charliegirl29
charliegirl29
Why in the world do you want to meet up with an a hole like that anyway. Mine plays worst mind games than that .......I'm telling you this only because you so much better off not meeting him. So much better. Trust me ....blessing in disguise.
murphytoronto
murphytoronto
I have experienced similar...

I can only say I feel your hurt,.....That is disgusting behaviour

Be Mad and Furious at what a scumbag he is to treat you this way
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
How do you respond? Do you need to respond? I know many of us, like you, want to have that last talk, that last say in order to see or persuade or let them know they are making a mistake. But many times, they will not give that to you. Also, many times, meeting to talk about the fact its over, adds to the pile of hurt cus the meeting didn't change their mind, they didn't fall in to what you had thought or hoped they would. They stand the course, let you know its over, sometimes in a very mean way, and then walk away. Leaving you just in a more destroyed state then you were 5 minutes before the meet cus now, there is no hope.

So for me, the best way to respond is to not respond at all. Take that as the final "it is what it is" and start to mend yourself.

I am sorry, I know it hurts.
Jgarc
Jgarc
Thank you all for those great words. This has only made me stronger. It was like a little kick in the butt saying "This is why, with him it will nver work" and i think i needed that :)