Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Brand new to dailystength. Brand new to support groups of any kind. One has to start somewhere, Right?! My name is Bill, I'm 27 years old, a recently retired Army officer. I was wounded during active duty, suffer from a myriad of injuries, some visiable, some not. Right after I was sent home from the hospital, after being blown up, my soon to be ex wife started an affair. We Just celebrated our 4th anniversary.
I elected to go on my last deployment, the mission that forced my retirement due to serious injuries, to put my wife through nursing school. The day of her nursing graduation, she packed her car, informed me of the affair, and left.
I've seen combat, death, been blown up and shot; yet the pain of my wife leaving me is the most daunting, oppressive pain I've ever felt. It molests and extinguishes all possiblity of happiness and hope. It was clear that I was only a blank check to my former spouse. Once my utility was gone, she left. I spilled my blood and wellbeing to better my family, and have a broken home to show.
The only blessing is we didn't have children.
Between the PTSD and depression, I find it difficult to relate to even my closest family. Trust of any kind is a complete foreign comcept.
Rationally, I know I need to pick up the pieces one at a time. Find momentarily happiness in the smallest and most basic forms, but that's easier said than done.
Those who have beaten the dark cloud of divorce, especially with a cheating spouse, what is the best thing for me to do? I'm all ears.
Many, Many Thanks
First, I want to thank you for your service.
Second - I am SO incredibly happy that you chose to reach out to this site.
I have been a member here for over 7 years. I am also work in hospital emergency setting exclusively with veterans . While I have never been in combat, I grew up in a very military country, and was trained to prep for combat and mass casualties as a civilian, since I was a little girl.
Working with combat vets makes me feel like I m home again, because in my country - mostly everyone is a vet., many are combat vets.
I'm here for you if you need anything.
I am really sorry that your wife is gone. Military lifestyle is a true test of the relationship . I know she let you down, but a man like you, who at 27 already lived a 100 lives , deserves an equally experienced woman.
Love takes experience too... As strange as it sounds.
Even though I was not in the military, I have difficulty romantically relating to civilian men who have not experienced military lifestyle,
I am glad you are home... I hope you will find your place again here and that you will find a loving, strong bond with someone.
I wonder what are or planning on doing with your career now that you are back?
Most of my combat vet friends who are doing well are fireman, policemen or work with me.
I know this is a very dark time & place you find yourself in & I am so sorry for that! I really do hope that you are ok with this next suggestion of mine (btw, I was a Buck Sergeant, so I do have a little bit of pull "somewhere")....it is no sign of weakness to go see a therapist. They are simply a tool to help you get through this situation. I will be praying for you {{{Hugs}}} & if I could, I would buy you a cup of joe and give you a couple of hours "ear time", I am in Florida (thus my name)
should suck it up & just deal with it on your own. Take the chance to find a good therapist who helps you. You will do much better.
I am going through divorce right now and although we are in counseling things are not looking good at all. I feel the lowest I have ever felt and daily phone calls with my mum and meeting up and talking to close friends get me going.
We also just got a rescue dog - she gives me sense of responsibility and motivation to get up each day, so she is such a blessing right now.
Keep strong. Time heals all wounds.
I never served but I was in a battle for 28 years. Every single day.....he cheated several times and I forgave and took him back and tried to love him enough. Nothing was ever enough for him. I finally realized I needed help when he finally left. The abuse became the normal and I got use to being used and abused. We all need some help every now and again. And you need help just like I did and still do. You have to get back out into the world and yes you will still get beat up and lied to and hurt and disillusioned. But maybe just maybe there is someone out there that needs you, that is looking for you, someone who understands the hurt and pain and humility you have gone through. Do you want to miss out on that? Go to counseling and go to support group. My support group was the best thing that happened to me. Because they were honest and open and didn't try to coddle me. Plus we were all in the same sorry boat. Someone had hurt us, someone had betrayed us, and we thought we had done something wrong. You don't deserve what you have been dealt, no one does and it was not your fault. Just by coming on this site and talking to us you have shown your desire to live and to be happy. You have to work at it everyday but believe me it will be worth it. If you believe in God or a higher power draw strength from that. I had to learn to forgive and I had to learn to forgive myself. It still is a daily struggle but believe me it does get better, the pain does ease up. You just have to learn to deal with the triggers. I pray you take our advise and ask for help. Its gonna hurt something awful to begin with because you have to relive everything and all those feelings come back but once you work through it, you feel stronger. You are stronger and you know you deserve happiness.