Well, I honestly haven't met you, but the first long term relationship I had after my divorce was a man with borderline personality disorder and psychopathic tendencies and I had a therapist AND psychiatrist both tell me I WAS NOT either. The man I just broke up with had a Mom who is a manic bipolar, and he was not at all.

I think anyone can be sucked in to a psychopath. They can be smooth.

I'm sure you are fine, but if you are really that worried, ask a therapist.

Do you take joy in causing someone any kind of pain?

I see my counselor on Thursday. I will have to ask her. I have been seeing her since last summer (even before I left him) - because I realized during the relationship that I was showing codependent tendencies by trying to make things work even after the blinders came off and I realized who he really was. I think part of it was the fact that we knew eachother from childhood and had friends in common. But after I found out he cheated he told me "I didn't think it would hurt you that much" and said that he didn't know what empathy was and "it's impossible for me to feel what others feel because I'm not them". He was super persistent about winning me back and agreed to go to couples counseling because I told him that was the only way I would even consider moving forward. He was claiming he was a sex addict and I wanted to find out from a professional and also talk with them about what I realized was verbal abuse. The professional said they didn't think he was a sex addict but I never thought to ask them if either of us were psychopaths. It was short lived because after he lied in counseling I wasn't going to waste my time with him so I just decided to continue with it myself.

Charliegirl29 - I can't even kill a fly without feeling bad about it :(

I was married to a psychopath as well. I strongly suggest that you read "Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People". Sometimes Amazon has the Kindle download for free...even if not I think the book is under $10.00 and a very good read.

After reading this book you will be able to answer your own question. Which by the way...no you are no a psychopath and your ex would have never chosen you as his next victim if you were.

I think that's why it took so long to walk away because I can't handle knowing that I am the source of anyone's pain. I am always trying to relieve others pain which is how I got involved with him in the first place. And I have realized that historically my loyalty has kept me in unhealthy relationships (friendships as well) because I couldn't bear to leave those who were down and out. Over time I have slowly weeded out the unhealthy relationships from my life. He was the last one.

Psychopaths are very good at manipulation. Because you dated a psychopath, does not mean that you are one. A good book to read entitled "Snakes in Suits". The book will give you insight as to the type of women psychopaths go after. Those that are very empathic is an example. The psychopath feeds off from empathy.

Thank you everyone. The more I'm learning about all of this is the angrier I get... which is actually helping minimize the sadness. I should've ran when his own mother warned me. A mother who raises her son from childhood knows him better than anyone. And I should've trusted my gut from the beginning. I got swept up in the whole story. He had a thing for me when we were younger but I was with someone and then we reconnect as adults and happen to both be single... sounded like it was meant to be and I ignored all the red flags. Life is not like a movie. I will never ignore red flags again no matter how good it feels. We live and learn!

Just a little update - I saw my counselor today and when I brought up the psychpath topic and asked her if she thought I was one she laughed and said "I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that you most definitely aren't". Lol! I know it sounds silly but I felt like I just got conformation I was clear of a disease or something. Phew! :)

Isn't it funny how those of us who have gotten involved with narccisitic/psychopath personalities end up questioning our own sanity? They really do a number on us, don't they? So much so that we begin to question our own mental health. You are fine, I am fine. It is them that are screwed up. Believe it. You are not the problem.

Thank you Tcl18. Yes, I couldnt believe how much I questioned myself when I was with him. Never before had I felt so mentally fragile and unsure of myself, my words, my every action and decisions, life. I had always taken pride in my ability of discernment in relationships and had always been the one being consulted for relationship advice. I never experienced anyone or any relationship like it but yet instead of looking at all that and identifying him as the problem, I questioned myself. It doesnt even make sense! Lol. At times I literally thought that maybe I had developed a brain condition or something because the changes were so drastic. The thing that made it the worst was that he was the first person I chose to be completely open and vulnerable with. So obviously that just put gas in his tank. The thing that is good out of all of it is that I got to understand myself and even my family better and to identify unhealthy patterns/habits and healthier ways of doing things. Through this healing process I go back and forth with how I feel on a daily or even sometimes hourly basis, but no matter what I know that I came out with a better chance at a healthy relationship in the future because its helped me to practice the heck out my communication skills which I have struggled with in the past and to develop healthier behaviors. Which only means that once I'm ready for amother relationship its going to be great... especially after the hell I went through the last five years :) I just have to keep reminding myself of that

Love is blind is so true. So I think your love for him was blinding you to a degree. But you are not the same as the person you love or stay with unless you choose to be and in your case, it doesnt like you chose to be like him. So no, you are not a psychopath.

I would hope to think that if I got involved with a psychopath, it wouldn't say that I was one. I think there are times when logic and reason totally go by the way side, but also that people can't help who they fall in love with sometimes.

I do not think you are a psychopath.