Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I want to get a kind of concensus here on how people process the way they are feeling.
It seems that men are more introspective. We tend to isolate ourselves and figure out how we feel without the influence of those around us. Once we have figured it out ourselves, we will go out and see how others respond to our conclusions.
It seems to me that women tend to gather together with other women and share their feelings and use the feedback from the gathering to figure out how they are feeling.
Does this seem to be accurate? Before I post on what I see as the pros and cons of each approach, I will wait for some responses.
It seems that men are more introspective. We tend to isolate ourselves and figure out how we feel without the influence of those around us. Once we have figured it out ourselves, we will go out and see how others respond to our conclusions.
It seems to me that women tend to gather together with other women and share their feelings and use the feedback from the gathering to figure out how they are feeling.
Does this seem to be accurate? Before I post on what I see as the pros and cons of each approach, I will wait for some responses.
I can only speak for me though but I try really hard not to figure things out on my own. I try to gather as much help and perspective from others before I make decisions.
Just my thoughts!
Sometimes I take them to my girlfriends. But, I ask myself if taking them to my friends is going to hurt their lives, first.
Am I going to start a Husband Bashing Session??? If So, then I keep it to myself.
Right now, I am here. I am hoping that everyone is in just about the same boat, and I won't cause any Problems in another relationship.
My closest friends are happily married. When we talk, I point out Their Husbands GOOD Points and that They NEED to be Hugged and Told that they are Good.
No doubt this is more information than you wanted...but I am hoping not to be "sterotypical". ;-)
Go get help earlier, read more and share... god know we are all the same really . Personally I can't wait to move on find a great guy again.... finding a quality one is the problem....
Pros: Introspection give you an opportunity to feel your own emotions and understand where you are in the process. This is very beneficial and without it, we can start to accept other peoples perspective on what we should be feeling as our own.
Cons: if we become too introspective, we can isolate ourselves from those that care about us and get stuck in unproductive thoughts and negative feelings.
Pros: Sharing with friends/family. This can be very beneficial because it gives you perspective from people that care about you. It allows you to see the situation from a different viewpoint.
Cons: You can get bad advice or be swayed by the opinions of others and not be true to yourself.
I have discovered that I found myself being too introspective and not seeing things from a different viewpoint. I have since learned to share and get help through the process form people that truly care about me and my welfare. I now read a great deal (books, online support, etc.), I talk with family, friends, and my therapist to get a balanced perspective on my situation. I then take all the information that I have learned and use it to help me balance out my own feelings. I use the methods that work, and I discard the methods that don't. DS has been great in that it provides a lot of different perspectives from people that have been through similar experiences.
When I am venting I just want to be listened to. I don't want the problem solved. Chances are I already know what I am going to do or not do. I just want to be heard!
If our Families discouraged us from talking about feelings-then we are going to have a difficult time sharing them with others.
If we came from Families with Open Communication, it is going to be easier.
I don't really think that this is as Male/Female as some think it is.
Bigguy, I don't think you are trying to label. I am just trying to stop crying and be less emotional right now. This is an Interesting Topic for me :-)
Please, give my Brain a workout, and my Heart a Rest :-)
But, I as I think deeply, I also read and get to know more about myself and others. Sometimes, I test my thoughts out by looking for common threads near my own needs in the posts.