I agree.... How do you let go. I wish I had the answer to that. Everyone tells me, just move on.

If emotions had a kill switch or a off switch, believe me, I would of use the damn thing and broke it so my emotions would never have to be on like this. No one in their right mind would want to have their emotions this intense or high. Its not something we can simple control by moving on or by letting go . I wish it worked like that, but it doesnt. People who tell us to do such things as this, I personal feel are ignorant and very annoying. They do us better service by shutting up. They arent helping at all.

Emotions need time and clarity from support to heal first. Time is needed. Understanding is needed. Personal growth and support are also needed. These emotions we feel need things that are not so easily, instantly available to us. This is a journey and at times, one hell of a journey. It is not a move on, let it go situation. Why some think and speak as if it is must be out of ignorance.

If I could shut my emotions off, I would. I would be able to let things go and move on and wow, have a better fn life. But I cant. Its not that black and white for people.

I agree, moving on isn't something we can just decide to do, doesn't work that way. I'll add this and this only applies to me - it might help others understand what people mean when they say "move on"

Moving on doesn't mean you stop having feelings for the person, doesn't mean you stop hurting, wishing things would have worked out, etc. Doesn't mean you delete all the memories and start fresh just like that, over night, from one minute to the next. Doesn't mean that at all.
You do still have to grief. There is a difference between GRIEVING and living in LALALand - there is a difference between GRIEVING and being in denial. There is a difference between GRIEVING and staying stuck and adding more to your grief.

With that being said, lots of times when people tell us to move on, it's because we are saying things like "he cheated, but he's always coming around me and I love him so muhc, or "he has a new woman, but he calls me also, so I am so confused", or She hates me, but I just wish she didn't, etc, etc.

When we say things like that, we are not standing up for ourselves, we are not respecting ourselves, we are allowing more abuse, rejection, etc. That is when at times people, friends and family who see that others are taking advantage of us or we are day dreaming, want to push us to stop doing that.

So no, we can't stop the hurt over night, we can't flip a switch, but we can stand up for ourselves and set boundaries.

I know because I went through this process. Yes, I cried, I screamed, I isolated myself, I went to therapy and it took a year for me to even start feeling better - I couldn't control that - I couldn't control the pain and the emotions - but I was able to control what the EX did, said to me, etc. I didn't allow him to add to my agony, I didn't allow him to toy with me, etc. We do have full control over that, especially when a person is clearly rejecting us, chosing others over us or telling us clearly they no longer want us nor love us. What helps us at least control that part? - In my opinion is SELF LOVE. When I love and respect myself I have the courage to say "LEAVE, THE DOOR IS OPEN" - I am not good enough for you? - You are picking someone else over me? -, well I think I am all that and then some - so get out and that's that. Will I still be sad, cry, hurt and all the rest? - YES- absolutely, but I don't have to be someone else's punching bag. I have enough on my plate with my own emotions to also add to that allowing another person to toy me or treat me like I am an OPTION to them.

Hope this helps. Have a great day family.

I process emotions by feeling the hurt when I'm ready to and when I need to.

When I undergo stress my first reaction is to cut and run. I think about moving, going on a trip, or making a big change in my life so I can avoid the emotions that come with separation in any relationship.

What I'm doing recently is just sitting still and crying if I need to. Writing down the scariest thoughts I have, reading them over and over, talking to people/therapist about them, missing my ex-bf, mourning my failed marriage and infertility.

That to me is processing them. Letting them out, giving them air and hoping that something wonderful about myself is revealed from underneath all of that crap.

I guess its about feeling whatever you feel and acknowledging what you feel and understanding that it will eventually feel better? I think I've been rushing things - having goods days and thinking I've got this and then having a bad day and it all crashes down. Perhaps I would do better to accept that it will be an up and down ride for a long time and not beat myself up for having feelings and thinking I'm not progressing.

I like to use the phrase moving forward instead of moving on. When I was down and out and not thinking rationally everyone told me I needed to let go and move on and I really wanted to punch them all in the face. I have learned the past three months to just sit with my emotions. When I want to cry I do, when I am angry I get angry. Since starting yoga I have been practicing mindfulness and being in the present time instead of worrying about the past and getting anxious about the future. So however I am feeling at the time I just ride it out until it is over. I acknowledge it and I don't judge myself or think any less of myself for how I am feeling at the present moment, and I think that is very important.

I've been trying meditation lately as well - calming my mind, staying present. Can't say its working yet, but I understand it takes some time.